Im worried to ask for help

[EzandIssyMum]

Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and would really appreciate some advice or hearing from anyone who has been through something similar.
I’m a single mum of two young children and my mental health has deteriorated badly over the past few months. I have severe health anxiety and it has got to the point where I’ve developed a fear that my body is allergic to food. Because of that I’ve barely been eating properly for months. Sometimes I go days without eating and I mostly just drink small amounts of coffee or water. I feel weak and light-headed quite often.
My anxiety is constant and I feel on edge most of the day. Even seeing something online about illness can trigger panic where I convince myself something is wrong with me.
After they go to bed almost nightly i find myself having panic attacks that result in me screaming and not able to even think about anything but horrid thoughts , to the point I'm running around my house screaming - it calms after 10 -15 mins but this is draining me .These episodes happen mid sleep and recently scared my 3 year old which has left me absolutely heartbroken , I feel like i want this to stop but i just cant make it
Lately my thoughts have also become very intrusive. It’s hard to explain but sometimes my thoughts feel so loud that they almost feel like a voice in my head telling me to run away or escape. I recognise that the thoughts are coming from my own mind, but they are very distressing and overwhelming.
When I’m having bad episodes I become extremely overwhelmed by noise and stimulation. Sometimes even physical touch makes it worse and I have to sit on my own for a short while to calm myself down. I want to be clear that my children are safe and cared for I still cook for them, look after them and meet all of their needs but internally I feel like I’m constantly fighting panic and exhaustion.
My mum is able to care for the children if I needed treatment, but I’m terrified that if I ask for mental health help or admission somewhere, social services could become involved and I could lose my children.
Has anyone here ever been admitted for mental health support as a parent? What actually happens with your children in that situation? I know I need help but I’m very scared about what could happen.
Thank you for reading.

Oh my lovely. You aren't going to be admitted for this. The threshold is so, so high for admittance. They'd much rather treat you at home and let you keep your normality as much as possible, while keeping a close eye on you.

If you're really bad NHS 111 option 2 is a good place to start. Its for crisis care. But if thats too scary please get in touch with the gp urgently. When I had psychosis and thought my child had been replaced social services weren't interested as I was being treated and engaging in treatment. That's the key thing, if you engage with support and can meet your children's care needs and can shelter your kids from your mental health, they'll not want to intervene.

I agree with PP that you definitely won’t be admitted for health anxiety and panic attacks and your children won’t be taken away.
The screaming sounds worrying unless you live in an isolated spot. Don’t your neighbours hear and get concerned?
Have you spoken to your GP to see about medication and talking therapy?

Im sorry you are going through this, the best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to get help. You will not get your children taken off of you.
Call your dr for an urgent appointment and ask your mum to look after the kids so you can go alone and open up to them, they will probably offer some CBT or talking therapies and some low dose anti depressants to help with.
As mums we are very good at ignoring our health and our needs and often put ourselves last, but ultimately by letting this slip it will get worse and potentially result in a breakdown, stop it from getting to that point and you will feel so much better.