I feel like accepting antidepressants is admitting I can’t cope.

[LondonLady1980]

Life has been tough over the last 6 years….. especially over the last three….. and the last year has been really difficult.

I am floundering.

My life has changed so much, my health is deteriorating, my mood is so low (I cry a lot) and I feel lost.

My Neurologist (I have epilepsy) has suggested I go on antidepressants and I feel so upset at the thought of it.

It feels like there is already so much going on in my life, and my health is already so crap, that I just can’t cope with something else.

I’m already overwhelmed and exhausted and I can’t cope with having to deal with this too.

Part of me knows I’m struggling though and that things aren’t getting better. Im so scared of having side effects too. I just don’t know what to do ☹️

Hello, sorry you are struggling. I felt the same a few years ago when I was advised to go on Sertraline. My dad had a history of mental health problems and I felt i was failing if I accepted them as I always prided myself on being mentally strong. However, it was life changing for me and what I needed at the time. I came off them after about 2 years. Ive been fine without however, I have just today wondering if maybe I should ask the Doc for a low dose as I am finding everything hard atm. I didnt have any side effects. Just start on a low dose and go from there. There is no shame in accepting help

Go on medication - mine has quite literally saved my life. You wouldn’t refuse painkillers for a broken leg or insulin for diabetes. This isn’t any different.

Starting anti depressants is one of the bravest things. You are facing the challenge head on and using the tools available to help you cope.

Agree with the Ps.

Also, judging by your user name, you are 46, or will be this year? Maybe you are perimenopausal as well, HRT might be able to help you.

In very simplistic terms Antidepressants help to restabilise brain chemicals. If another part of your body had the incorrect balance of chemical and it was negatively impacting on your health you would take medication to help rebalance the chemicals. Having a chemical imbalance is not a judgement on your character or ability to cope with life. If I have a headache, I would take paracetmol so I could get on with my life and when my GP said I was low in B12 I started taking a supplement - would you do the same? Life is difficult enough without trying to tough things out.

It's absolutely not a failure to accept antidepressants. What they're brilliant for is helping to lift you out of a pit, so that you can hopefully be in a clearer and healthier mental state to see what else you can do change things. Right now you can't. They're genuinely life saving for many people. Honestly accept help. I'm sorry you're finding things so hard right now.

This its just medication that will make you feel better. There's no shame in it. Just as there is no shame in having a physical illness.

I hope you feel better soon.

It’s not admitting you can’t cope or are a failure. It’s having the strength and power to say this part of my body needs support and doing something about it. If we break a bone we don’t see a cast as failure. If we have a migraine and take meds it’s not a failure. Chemical imbalances happen, taking meds for it shows you have the strength of character to look after yourself. It’s ok, it really is. Talk through the meds with your GP, ask about side affects, and make a measured decision that isn’t clouded by your own internal judgement xx

Surely it is admitting that you cant cope? But not in a negative way. Just in the same way that someone accepting morphine for a broken leg would be accepting they cant cope without the pain relief. Its no different, it is just acknowledging that you need a bit of extra help. Give yourself a break 😀

OP I had to post. 48, epileptic and 3 years ago was where you are. Too convinced by the taboo and feeling that if I could just eat right, make better choices I'd be ok. I started on sertraline and life is 100% better. I don't feel spaced out anything, just more together, better able to cope and I cry a normal amount at things instead of needing to lie in bed. I wish Id never delayed taking meds. Nothing changed, just my brain chemicals which for me, made me realise that my mental health was to some degree out of my control. I really hope you break free of the constructing feelings and give it a go xx lots of love to you

OP I had to post. 48, epileptic and 3 years ago was where you are. Too convinced by the taboos and feeling that if I could just eat right, make better choices I'd be ok. I started on sertraline and life is 100% better. I don't feel spaced out or anything, just more together, better able to cope and I cry a normal amount at things instead of sobbing for hours. I wish I'd never delayed taking meds. Nothing changed, just my brain chemicals which for me, made me realise that my mental health was to some degree out of my control. I really hope you break free of the constricting feelings and give it a go xx lots of love to you

I know it would be an “oversimplification” but I honestly thing illnesses like depression and bipolar should be renamed neurotransmission dysfunctions. Because the struggles are internal for the most part and wouldn’t show up on a blood test or machine test, people confuse depression, which I guess is a spectrum condition, as somehow not a serious condition deserving medication help.

It's a medicine like any other. I take citalopram and it has changed my life. It calms you down so you can look at situations rationally. I have saved time and energy from overthinking and have channelled this into positive life changes.

I've been on Sertraline since 2021 and it has changed my life for the better. There is no need to suffer like you are! I take one tiny pill with my breakfast each morning, and life is a breeze now.

Totally agree @faerylights

Infact, this is exactly what my doctor said to me. A chemical in balance, which needs treated just like a broken leg would.

see it as a positive. Like a crutch to make things easier not harder.

I felt exactly the same OP but it got to the point of choosing between killing myself or accepting ADs. Within 6 weeks of starting them I feel so much better with some hope for the future.
I accept that I can’t cope without them at the moment. I tried for long enough but was sinking further and further into despair.
So, what does it matter if you can’t cope and need some help atm? Does that make you a lesser person?

I take antidepressants and levothyroxine. Both because I don't have enough of something in my body. Neither mean that I can't cope!

Honestly, you have nothing to lose.

I should have been on antidepressants from my very early 20s- I'm 44 now and wasted huge swathes of my life because I wouldn't admit I needed medication. It's just medication. It's not failing, and you deserve to feel better.

I mean this with kindness.

Woman up. I am on sertraline, I needed help and I am not ashamed to admit that. It does not make me less capable because I need the support sertraline gives.

Honestly, we are fortunate to live in an age when these drugs are available. Be kind to yourself.

Thank you everyone who has been understanding and sympathetic.

I have no thoughts of harming myself or not wanting to be here anymore….. it’s just that life feels so hard at the moment. It one thing after another, after another after another and I wish I could go to bed for a year and wake up to find that every problem I have has disappeared.

I’m also extremely deficient in Vitamin D (very recently diagnosed) and very anaemic (have been for years) and my epilepsy drugs make me feel like crap every day, and suffer badly with anxiety due to my epilepsy, so none of those factors help either.

I feel like I am physically burnt out. Like my body just has nothing left to give.

I’m having lots of personal issues too which I’m having counselling for, so as well as being physically drained, I am also mentally and emotionally on the floor.

I’m so tired.

I can hear the exhaustion in your post. The vit D and low iron issues will all be adding to that. Could you maybe focus on one of these at a time? Nutrition geeks have small high strength vitamin D tablets - my DD with ARFID can tolerate them.

Iron supplements come in 2 different types and one is more gentle on the stomach. You need to take the supplements with vitamin C. It has been recommended for years to only take them every other day but GPs don’t always know this so it isn’t always shared.

I’m sure you know all of this but when you’re exhausted it’s hard to do. You really need to gentle with yourself and accept all the help you can will you’re going through this tricky time.

Someone close to me has been on and off sertraline over many years. They have made a huge difference when he takes them.

I’ve been on prescription dose iron supplements for 6 years. They make no difference.

I have horrendous periods which is thought to be the cause of the anaemia but as a uterine USS a few years ago came back normal I have just been left to it. I’ve got another scan next week though based on how low my current ferritin levels are (8) so who knows what will come of it. To be honest I feel like just asking for a hysterectomy.

I have recently been prescribed a high dose vitamin D supplement by my GP due to how low my level was (6) which I have to take twice a week, for 7 weeks. The supplements are 20’000IU per dose. I’ve then got to go back for repeat bloods.

My specialist said that having such low ferritin and low Vit D could be playing a huge role in why I am so low in mood and energy, so part of me is questioning whether I should try and address those first before looking to antidepressants.

I just don’t have the energy to come to an answer though. Like I said, I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up in 6 months and all the problems will have been solved for me.

I felt like that too OP and spent two years throwing myself into self care with the gym, fresh air, nail appointments, diet etc. Then I relented and am glad I did because with a very low dose of Escitalopram (I only take 5mg) it’s like someone has switched the lights on.

I felt the same as you but ended up having a huge breakdown which was awful. Eventually accepted the antidepressants and a year on I can’t tell you how different my life is. Please try them and if you have side effects talk to your doctor who will help and change your prescription. Like others have said it’s really no different to taking painkillers for a headache. Take care of yourself.