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Can’t cope with work - WWYD

3 replies

KeepingKalm · 04/03/2026 15:33

Looking for some advice on how to survive my current MH struggle.

Had a couple of really traumatic years following a bereavement, which culminated in a breakdown when I went back to work after Christmas. At the end of Jan, I knew I was in a really bad place, so I confided in my GP, who put me on antidepressants. This has reduced my anxiety, but I’m still low and dreading every day at work.

My job is very stressful/complex and mentally taxing (regulated advice sector). I feel like I desperately need a break, but I’ve not long changed firms and am still on probation (6 months in) so I don’t get sick pay, and we are due to remortgage in 4 weeks! DH earns triple my salary, however, so his income more than covers what we are borrowing, I just don’t want to mess the timings up, as we are coming off a fixed rate deal, and any changes to my job could delay things.

I could take some unpaid leave, but that would mean telling my DH, who thinks depression is for the weak (he’s never had anything bad happen to him in his life)! Suppose I need to tell him whatever happens next. He’s also super stressed with work rn, so won’t welcome the news.

My work must know somethings up though as my productivity is through the floor, but nobody’s said anything yet. I feel if I volunteer that I’m struggling with mental health, my probation will automatically be extended, but I suppose that’s going to happen anyway if I don’t start firing on all cylinders again soon.

I feel trapped, exhausted and want to give up and focus on being a SAHM for a while.

Any practical advice / coping strategies from people who have been through similar?!

Thanks for reading ❤️

OP posts:
notatinydancer · 04/03/2026 15:46

Can you start looking for another job ?

Hagnumber4 · 04/03/2026 15:50

I hear you, I've been there...and am there again now.
Get the renewal done and then quit. Can you do anything self employed?

KeepingKalm · 04/03/2026 16:16

thanks for responding @notatinydancer and @Hagnumber4 I’m sorry to hear you’re in the same boat it’s utterly rubbish isn’t it 😩

I can’t go self employed as only part qualified but am looking for something part time or possibly stepping down into more of a support role for less stress, but not found anything yet.

Am also thinking about using up some of my annual leave just to get a break without affecting the remortgage so I can crawl through the rest of this month, even if it meant having to take unpaid leave for some of our summer hols this year, or having to repay some if/when I left.

Not sure if it will actually help me feel better or just kick the can a bit further down the road though!

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