How do you not let the patriarchy and sexism of some men and women get to you?
Sometimes I feel down and depressed about it. It also distorts, confuses my personal identity, and capabilities as a person and as a woman.
I sometimes feel temporarily brainwashed to think my roles are inside the house, and handling domestic work.
My neighbor is sexist and doesn't think I am capable as a person, and as a woman.
Also, people should take the time to ask if it's okay to do mostly everything on someone else's property, instead of assuming. There are plenty of people, including women that like to be outdoors, left alone enjoying life, and that enjoy manual and physical labor.
People also should learn to respect and put that knowledge into action in regards to respecting people's boundaries..(within many situations that this would not apply to) No means no. Rejecting offers for help, should be respected. .
This last snowstorm after the one mentioned here, he saw me outside halfway done, enjoying myself and came out the house and offered to help. I said "No thank you, I have it, and am enjoying myself. I appreciate the offer, thank you for that."..
He kept insisting that he'd help, and had 20 minutes to spare before going to work...and he kept reaching for the shovel.
I said, "Thank you so much for the offer, I have it. You probably could use and perhaps need those 20 extra minutes commuting to work in such weather. Be careful, have a good day, and once again, I appreciate the offer."
He looked mad af, and told me to use his ice melt at least.
In order to get him to stop nagging me and be on his way, I agreed. I honestly don't like the whole sharing and receiving things between anyone... especially neighbors...so many things could go wrong..
While out there, saw another man walking up the street, traveling by foot, he stopped and kept nagging me also about letting him take over shoveling, I told him no several times, and he said, "Are you sure, It's just that I hate to see women working."
I said no thank you, and continued working ignoring him, and he left.
Yes, I absolutely know my neighbor is a sexist. He makes public social media posts quoting Kevin Samuels and other sexist manospheres.
He posted about how no woman should be outside without the supervision of a man
That a woman loses her value once she is 38+ older. That once she experiences any type and stage of menopause, she loses the ability to be friendly, fit, cooperative, and submissive because the hot flashes and lost of estrogen, and brain fog makes her change into a defiant person who doesn't want to take nor be under the instructions of men.
When I am outside gardening in the summer enjoying myself, there are men in my neighborhood who will pressure me into letting them complete the tasks, that will give me unsolicited advice, that tell me not to harm myself with the tools, and some even go as far asking me if I know what I'm doing.
There are women who will see me and insinuate that because I am a woman that I am incapable of such tasks, that there must be something wrong with me because I am rejecting the offers from men to help. They are vocal about how they
feel I should be in the house relaxing and letting men handle everything.
Some even try to discourage and deter me away from becoming involved with men. They will applaud me and tell me I'm doing a good job, that women can do everything and don't need men, because all men do is mess up women's lives and aren't good for anything.
There also have been women in my community whom have known of my ex and I living together at the time, whom have seen me outside enjoying myself with lawn care..tell me that I need to break up with my boyfriend because he is a good for nothing to "allow" me to be outside doing manual labor..That he doesn't value me as a person because he doesn't respect me, etc...
It's disheartening sometimes.