My OCD and anxiety is so bad. I'm constantly worrying about dying suddenly. I'm convinced myself that my heart will stop at any time. I avoid exercise because I'm scared my heart won't cope. I don't to places alone with my son because I'm scared if I collapse. I hate being home alone with him in case something happens to me. I spend all day crying and worrying and panicking. I worry that the house will set fire in my sleep, so I have to check all sockets loads of times. I worry someone will break in and kill us. I worry I have any number of illnesses. If I read about it somewhere, it triggers me. Any pain i get in my body, I automatically pain thinking it something fatal. I won't eat foods that I've never tried in case I'm allergic. I won't take medications in case I'm allergic. I'm constantly checking my heart rate, blood pressure, etc. I'm always making doctors appointments because I'm sure i have a heart problem and they don't believe me, or they say my heart is fine cos they've done a holter a couple years ago. I can cry on demand because I'm so terribly scared. I'm too scared to take the meds the Dr prescribes because I read a rare side effect is cardiac arrest. My theme revolves around death and dying and I'm terrified. It's all i think about all day. More recently ive started worrying that something (a demon, a ghost?) is attacking son in his sleep because he has scratches on him..I know logically he's scratched himself. He had a itchy rash for a few days. I don't even believe in things like that so why am I thinking this. Please help me. I don't know what I'm hoping to gain from this post. I guess being able to put my feelings down anonymously is helping me.