How do I build up my confidence

[Tinalue]

I’ve never been a confident person, but since hitting late 50s it’s been worse. I’m on sertraline for anxiety which helps me, but I’d like to feel more confident inside too. I struggle to open my mouth in meetings at work, and feel like such a wallflower.
Has anyone been through this, what did you do?

When did you first realise, or when were you first told, that you are not a confident person?

I can recall being a young child of maybe 10 years of age, and feeling this way.,it’s never really changed.

So before that, you didn't think about it? Confidence is a learned way of being but we don't learn what we believe we can't achieve – for example I was told I'd never learn to knit because I am left handed, so I've never even thought about trying. But everyone has the ability to change their 'core beliefs' (the way we regard ourselves, others and the world).

Have a look at this article as a starting point;

https://www.betterup.com/blog/core-beliefs

In terms of changing the way you behave, what goal(s) would interest you?

I had a nervous breakdown, which really made me assess me life as it was so far! In retrospect, it was something of a blessing in disguise, even though I felt awful at the time. I thought to myself about all of the things that I wanted to do, and perhaps if I did all of that- including learning to stand up for myself and not give in to family pressure- then I might be happier than I was at the time.

I have done quite a lot of the things that I wanted to do, and other things have been added to the list. It has made my life more varied and interesting, and I have grown in confidence along the way. I can still be quite quiet in large social settings, but I'm OK with that, because I'm much happier in myself.