Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Sorry in advance for the long post

14 replies

PeppyDenimSheep · 16/02/2026 11:43

First time poster here.

I’ve had the Nexplanon implant since 2017 and get it replaced every three years. It’s due for replacement this December. I’ve never had any problems with it before, but over the past few days I’ve been feeling very low. I’ve never struggled with my mental health, and on paper everything in my life is good. But out of nowhere, I suddenly feel overwhelmed and unlike myself.
On Friday at work, I was really snappy and irritable. I felt angry and couldn’t control it, everything and everyone annoyed me. Saturday was Valentine’s Day, so I held it together, but I felt completely drained. Even basic things like getting in the shower felt exhausting. All I wanted to do was stay in bed, but I pushed through. The only way I can describe it is that I felt physically weighed down, like something was dragging me down. (My husband got me flowers, a framed photo of us, and took me to a lovely restaurant so it wasn’t anything to do with him.)
By Sunday, I couldn’t hold it in anymore and just started crying. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I was sobbing but couldn’t explain why. It felt silly because I knew I wasn’t crying over anything specific. My husband asked what was wrong and said I was crying like someone had died. I told him I didn’t know what was wrong, I just didn’t feel like myself. I said it felt like a dark cloud was hanging over me. He said that if that’s how I feel, imagine how it feels for him being around me. This is the first time I’ve ever felt like this. I apologised and reassured him he hadn’t done anything wrong and that I appreciated everything he did for Valentine’s Day. I truly don’t understand why I feel this way.
He told me he wasn’t going to do any of the “lovey-dovey stuff” or keep asking if I’m okay, and that if I’m choosing to cry over nothing, that’s up to me. I tried to explain that I’m not choosing this and it is completely out of my control. If I could just switch it off and feel normal again, I would. We ended up spending the rest of the day apart.

Later that evening, I tried to talk to him again and said I’d been Googling and wondered if it could be related to my implant. He said he didn’t want to talk about it and that listening to me was draining. He said he just wanted the day and even the whole week to be over, so he can skip to next weekend where is away from me with his friends. I apologised again for how this has affected him and said I’m trying to understand what’s going on with me, he said my constant apologising was annoying.

My husband’s reaction has made me feel like I can’t open up to anyone else (family or friends) because I feel like a burden. I don’t want to feel like this, but I can’t help it. I’m not blaming my husband, but his response made me feel worse. I just wanted a hug and some reassurance that everything would be okay. Instead, he wouldn’t even look at me and just stared at the TV until I stopped talking.

I don’t even know what the point of this post is. I just needed to get it off my chest and hopefully feel a little less alone, because right now I feel incredibly alone.

OP posts:
Helplessandheartbroke · 16/02/2026 19:25

Hi op, no wonder you feel worse your husbands reaction was cold. God forbid its not just your implant! My only advice would be GP

PeppyDenimSheep · 17/02/2026 10:25

Helplessandheartbroke · 16/02/2026 19:25

Hi op, no wonder you feel worse your husbands reaction was cold. God forbid its not just your implant! My only advice would be GP

I am going to get the implant removed to see if that helps.
Unfortunately, my husband has always struggled with handling other people’s emotions, especially mine. A close family member of mine passed away from cancer just over a year ago and he handled it very poorly. I think he finds it difficult when I’m upset and tends to shut down.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 17/02/2026 11:50

He said that if that’s how I feel, imagine how it feels for him being around me

Maybe you're depressed because you've married the wrong guy?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 17/02/2026 16:12

Do not get the implant removed ! you could get pregnant !!!
Many of us have now read today's thread by you.

Mingspingpongball · 17/02/2026 16:36

OP!! This man is horrible! Absolutely horrible.
I don’t care if he built the Taj Mahal for you on Valentine’s Day- he is undoubtedly (I’ve read and commented on your other post) the source of much of your unhappiness.
Again, I can only warn you (I described what my husband was like about our wedding) say what he was like after our first daughter was stillborn- he said he couldn’t stand being around me being depressed (I was physically recovering from having almost died as well as losing her).
Don’t have no contraception- don’t get stuck like me!! You have time. You have options

Manthide · 17/02/2026 17:07

Sounds like my exdh - get abuse for being upset! I know you haven't been married long but after living with mine for 40 years I'd definitely cut my losses and leave while you can. Good luck and all the best! I'm sure there are some gooduns out there.

CraftyYankee · 17/02/2026 19:27

OP, people across three threads are all saying the same thing - it's not you, it's him. I think if you removed him from your life the symptoms would probably disappear.

If you do get the implant out double up on other birth control. Don't subject your future children to this man as their father.

Yourcousinrachel · 17/02/2026 19:49

Ive got to say OP im so alarmed and dismayed by your husbands lack of compassion and concern for you. You are clearly not choosing to be upset and down. You cannot help how you are feeling and your feelings are not wrong, so dont let him tell you that they are . He sounds very very selfish, my god! He sounds more concerned with how your feelings are affecting him than they are you. Please think about that.....

Ive read your other post about the wedding day photos and thought it didnt sound good at all but reading this am truly horrified. Please make sure whatever you do that you dont get pregnant. Imagine the hormones of pregnancy and postpartum taking you over, it doesnt sound like he is going to be supportive or caring of you, as all he seems to think about is number one, himself!

Im struggling myself at the minute feeling down, crying at the drop of a hat, in my case its definitely perimenopause and burnout from my job and low iron.... .

I do think you should go to the gp to tell them how you are feeling, in case it is related to your implant and if you can access counselling in any way? Maybe through an employee welfare program at work? That might help you find your feet or help you know what to do. I know lots of people on these replies are saying leave him but you dont have to do anything in a hurry. You can make a decision thats right for you later, but it sounds like at the moment, you need support. All the best to you. X

Miloarmadillo2 · 17/02/2026 20:50

@PeppyDenimSheepThis is nothing to do with a method of contraception you’ve been using nearly 10 years and everything to do with the awful man you married. Whatever you do please don’t come off your contraception - he just wants you pregnant and therefore trapped. He can’t even show you very basic care and consideration and instead of offering some comfort and trying to cheer you up he makes your low mood all about him!
I read your other post about the wedding photos and I just felt so sad for you. Please leave him and find someone kind and loving. You deserve so much better.

Dreamin4685 · 17/02/2026 20:58

So sorry you’re having a tough time. I’ve had my own anxiety struggles over the years but I had a particular depressive moment last year where I felt exactly how you did. I felt so weighed down like I’d never be happy again. It came out of nowhere as I’ve never had depression before.

Thankfully it was short lived (3 - 4 weeks or so) but the main thing was that my husband encouraged me to talk to him and he listened. Even though I know he didn’t understand it, he didn’t dismiss my feelings. I’m so sorry your husband didn’t treat you with care in the moment you needed it. Please do speak to a doctor about your concerns. Take care

Fiftyandme · 17/02/2026 21:44

Darling, I think it’s safe to say that at least in part your mental health drop is to do with your complete selfish cunt of a hisbund

Catpuss66 · 17/02/2026 23:03

I came from your other thread about the wedding. I second everyone else’s opinion. This is nearly coercive control. Might be worth reaching out to women’s aid, or the freedom program. You need to realise you made A mistake marrying this man that’s why you are angry at yourself. See your GP but for your own mental health you need to plan to get away from him before you disappear. Speak to family or a close friend IRL. Sending support.

https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 18/02/2026 00:46

This is definitely abuse from your husband @PeppyDenimSheep

Please, please leave him.
Keep posting so that we can help you.
Reading your three threads has made me so sad for you.

putini · 19/02/2026 07:20

Well thank goodness for the implant - please do not have children with this man. Please get your ducks in a row and leave this ville man who clearly only has contempt for you. Complete strangers on the internet care about you more than your husband. Please please don't stay with him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page