Health anxiety about children

[K122]

Hi all, looking for any advice / experience with treatment for health anxiety.
This started when my daughter (now 4) was diagnosed with a rare heart condition and underwent open heart surgery. On top of that, she then developed sepsis and was critically ill. At the time I knew something was wrong but 2 different doctors dismissed my concerns. I now have a lack of trust in healthcare professionals.
I’ve since had another baby and my health anxiety over him is just as bad. Any mild symptom either of them have, I think it’s something sinister. It’s ruining my life
I’ve previously tried CBT which I didn’t really get along with at the time, have had some talking therapy but was pregnant at the time, so the therapist didn’t want me to go into deep detail about my trauma at that time.
im assuming I really need to unpack the trauma I’ve experienced?
are there any other therapies or anything else people can recommend?
thanks in advance

I had similar with both my dc as my first had an (undetermined) infection at 6 days and was hospitalized (spinal tap, iv's, monitors); then my 2md had RSV at 3w and was hospitalized (oxygen, spinal tap contemplated, ab's and av's injected).

It was frightening as both were in serious danger. I know I have a sort of ptsd from it and I get very if they get sick or injured.

I keep a medical diary for each and record medical visits/what took place/was discussed.

(I also make notes when they're sick of symptoms, complaints, medication, etc.)
That helps me from spiralling wondering if something was said/asked etc. iI take the notebook with me to doctor appts or hospital.

Regarding your poor experiences - have you considered writing a complaint? It doesn't matter if it was a long time ago. Just detailing what happened, how you were treated and how you felt are important.

Thanks so much for replying.
that’s a good idea about the note book!
we see my daughters cardiologist yearly and I always come away unable to remember what was said etc
I did write a complaint at the time which felt good in a way and I’m glad I did it.

Also I’m sorry to hear about what you’ve also experienced!!

You don't have to unpack trauma to resolve it – you relive every time you panic over mild symptom so it's not buried; it's very close to the surface because, paradoxically it's trying to protect you and your children.

To explain, when something bad happens to us – or to someone close to us – a part of our mind gets the job of figuring out exactly what happened, and why, so we can work out how to avoid it happening again. However, when we suffer a traumatic event in our lives there isn’t always a simple answer to that question. Trauma can be so unexpected that we didn’t do anything wrong to cause it and certainly couldn’t easily avoid it.

The need to make some sort of sense of the experience can often lock us into that moment. A part of our subconscious becomes unable to move on until we can fully understand it and put it to rest in our minds. It becomes like a jigsaw puzzle with some vital pieces missing. This then becomes an unsolvable puzzle.

Once your mind knows that searching for answers is futile and is causing you distress it will stop looking. You will still remember what happened but the emotional bond is broken and it stops affecting your day to day life.

Thanks for your reply.
that’s a really interesting perspective and something I haven’t considered before. Thank you!