Am I invisible?

[Lucylu1984]

I am very nearly 42 and I feel like I'm disappearing.
I've felt this way for a while now and I'm scared. Recently realised I've lost all my confidence as a person when I found I have no clothes apart from baggy jeans and exercise gear, I'm too self conscious to go for a hair cut and also would like to join the gym again but I'm nervous...I'm a bloody qualified personal trainer! I shouldn't feel this way.
I'm in very good shape for my age, ultra runner and lifter (at home). I have a teen daughter and a dog, both of whom I adore.
My partner and I used to do loads together but now it's like he hardly sees me at all. We never do anything I enjoy, he barely touches me these days. It makes me wonder why I try to hard with my body when nobody sees it.
I've no friends to speak of and rarely see my family, or hear from them. Nobody ever checks in to say hi or see if I'm ok unless I do so first.
I'm so lost.

I sometimes feel like that too although I am on my own. You could ask who I do it for? I guess for myself. I think you need to focus on yourself rather than others. I do not know if this helps. I am 47.

I spend my whole life making sure everyone else is OK and happy. I think that's the problem. I give way more than I get in return.
I should be doing it for me I know, but I'm so tired of it all.

I feel very similar in lots of ways

Mid-40s. Already on HRT if that matters

I said earlier today, if I deleted everyone in my phone, I’d only hear from my mum & mother in law within the next few months ….. no one else

You need to acknowledge yourself before worrying about whether anyone else does! Start seeing yourself. Exercise and health are for you! It’s not about looking a certain way for a man or anyone else. But step by step start trying new things, go back to the gym, try some new makeup, buy a dress. Set yourself little goals for broadening your world. But it’s about you not anyone else.

Sod ‘em, sod the lot of ‘em.
Start exercising some self care as you are important.
You can’t change their behaviour, only how you respond to it.
You might find that you get more respect from your family when you stop putting them first all the time.

You're so right. I do need to start putting me first. I feel as though I worry about everyone else and they just worry about themselves, I'm just there in the background, always reliable. Nobody even asks me about my day or what I like to do.
Thank you ladies x

I know how you feel. I live with my partner and daughter, but if I disappeared they'd be the only ones who noticed.

I suggest if you have time you join a friendly exercise class or other hobby group you see regularly. They may become good friends or just acquaintances you see because of the hobby. Either way, it will give you another set of social connections, a sense of community and people who care to some degree or notice whether you turn up each week. It sounds like it's this community and connection you are missing.

I will try my best to, my confidence is just so low at the moment. I work in a school, primarily with women and quite a few of them socialise with each other however I'm never invited. I'm a really nice person! Helpful and chatty etc. I just get left out 🤷‍♀️