Month 2 of no sertraline, I'm not ok

[Caerulea]

Hi all, prefacing this with I'm not in any danger or at risk of harm.

I was on 50mg of sertraline for 6/7 years for health anxiety, panic attacks & general anxiety. Towards the end of last year something in my brain decided I didn't need it anymore so started to taper off.

Did 3 months of 25mg a day with the final few of weeks every other day.

Started the new year not taking any at all.

It wasn't plain sailing, had one full panic attack in the middle of the night, brain zaps (which have pretty much stopped now), slight uptick in health anxiety but very manageable.

Am feeling much much better in a lot of ways - I can cry again, libido has improved a bit, feel less numb in general.

But this week!! Christ I feel awful. Low level panicky, not quite in control, incredibly overwhelmed & feeling paralysed (got a lot I should be doing). Had that horrible sensation of feeling like I was going to start screaming and never stop but when I tried explaining to my husband what was going on I felt totally dissociated from it - like I should have been crying in that moment cos I was upset & I'd started to panic. I ended up feeling like a total fraud, I was so calm telling him but there was a void in me.

Is this just part of the process of coming off? I didn't even try to see my GP - it's a hopeless exercise - and I don't feel I need to now mainly cos I KNOW the literature is very different to the lived experience

Right now I just feel very sad, low & a bit shaky in a different way to how I felt prior to starting them.

If it helps - I probably need assessing for AuADHD (two of my 3 kids are autistic) but I don't see any point, I'm 47 & got this far 🤷🏼‍♀️.

Could just do with some reassurance that others have been through similar & that this will pass.

It reads to me like the initial issue it’s prescribed for is coming back? Health anxiety, panic attacks and general anxiety, so would that maybe tell you you do need them?

I do encourage you to talk to your GP - coming off these drugs can be an incredibly risky time for people.

That said - could it be "wrong time of the month". Apologies of that is completely minimising your experience, but I think it's also very normal for our hormonal ups and downs to make things feel much.less hard to cope with, and it sounds like you were doing okay til now?

I’ve done this several times; I think I’m ‘cured’ and don’t need the meds and I come off them. Then I spiral down and have to re-start them again. I think I’ve finally got to the stage of just accepting that I do need them.

That doesn’t seem like a difficult tapering. It seems like a clear sign that you need medication.

Well, I've always been badly affected by my hormones, could never take the pill for example (I did try, multiple types, before the nurse said 'copper coil or surgery, no more of this') & I'm definitely peri & on hrt.

Right now I'd be ovulating, still regular periods but the normal pain I'd have now has tapered off. Still got the bloating though lol. So yes hormones are a constant issue for me.

@Daisywhatsyouranswer previously the health anxiety was out of control, I could manifest the symptoms of what I was fearing. It was bloody ridiculous.

I'm not feeling anything like that, this is different. I still don't feel like I need to be on them/go back & if I did I would, I don't have any issue with being medicated.

@Ponderingwindow @mynameiscalypso

I quite deeply do not want that to be the outcome. Sure, the panic etc was under control whilst on them but I felt like I wasn't really me, they made me numb.

Calypso - how long did you stay off them for before realising you needed the support again?

I’d been off them about 2/3 months I think when I realised that I wasn’t better but I often used it as an opportunity to try a different type of medication. I’ve been stable on trazodone for a while now which works really well with zero side effects so I’m going to try and stick to it.

Maybe try a different medication op?

You were on a low dose anyway, so with the tapering I’d think it unlikely you’d get zaps. I think it’s more likely it stopped working for you. I’d go back and speak to the doctor, do tell them about the zaps as it might need looking into

It was definitely the sertraline (or lack thereof) that caused the zaps. I had them before when the pharmacy screwed up my prescription & I went a week cold turkey.