My mum falls out with everyone.

[AurielleBaies]

Every single friend, family member, tradesman - she thinks eveyone is out to get her and she is a victim. What is this a symptom of?

She’s suffered with depression and anxiety for many years, I just don’t know how to handle her when she keeps falling out with people.

That sounds like a symptom of her chronic depression and anxiety.

I agree. I have a sibling with depression and when she's in a bad place she rants on about how everyone is against her and everyone hates her - she has a real persecution complex and it's all in her head.

thanks, that sounds like my mum. I had not realised this was a symptom of depression and thought it was something else.

Does she fall out with you and other family members too? She might have BPD, sometimes called EUPD now. They have unstable relationships and go through something called ‘splitting’ where they can adore you and you’re their ‘favourite’ person for a while then their attitude shifts and you’re to blame for everything.

Have a look at covert/vulnerable narcissism and see if it resonates

Yes she has done before. We’ve had a rocky relationship, she was semi abusive when I was younger. Now I’m the best thing ever and she’s fallen out with my sibling.

Scanning through very quickly, this is my mum to a T.

I wondered!!

Is this a new behaviour for your mother?

My grandmother was exactly like this. Apparently she was like that her entire life though, even as a little girl (according to relatives who were around back then).

It got worse as she aged and the whole situation was really tough on my parent; they eventually had to care for her full-time because she managed to insult everyone else who could help - cleaners, neighbours, and don’t get me started on family.

Unfortunately this was all back when MH wasn’t really talked about - we did suspect she was unwell in some way, but didn’t think we could do anything about it, especially as she had been like this her whole life. In hindsight, maybe the right kind of help and support could’ve changed things.

I really don’t know but I’m sorry you’re going through this as I remember how horrible it was for my parent.