My 25 year old daughter

[Twtd123]

Hi,
just looking for some advice.
my daughter (now 25) was involved with a fairly prominent man in the music industry. This happened without our knowledge initially when she was a 17 year old fan and he was 35. This resulted in an utterly toxic situationship for nearly 7 years, she loved him but was not reciprocated. Before she knew him she was suffering with her mental health, especially trichotillomania and also had never really had a boyfriend let alone be intimate with one so he was her first.
He eventually moved onto someone else although I suspect there were others all along.
However despite therapy she can’t seem to get over this and it’s like a trauma bond.
Stupidly she’s turned up with gifts at his house (she’d been in before) and has messaged others on social media who have gone back to him with information.
we’ve told her that this is self destructive and he’s warned her in the past about his “powerful lawyers”. My worry is that she’ll ruin her career over a vile human being who isn’t worth the time, but she keeps saying he never said sorry or got closure.

What a sleaze
Has she had any therapy as that age gap is verging on grooming?

She’s actually had quite a lot of therapy over the years, some better than others. Unfortunately she seems to want revenge. Completely agree about the grooming part, I’ve said that all along

Surely she could ruin his career quite easily by making it known what a sleaze he was with young girls?

If she was 17 when it started, then it must have only just ended. Did he just drift away, hence wanting closure?

If she’s not careful, she could be done for stalking.

No she’s was 24 when she found out he was with someone else while still with her. That was just the once at the house, but I’ve told her that he’s powerful and could come for her

She absolutely could as has lots on him, he’s got a lot of female “friends” a lot younger than himself. His management said it was consensual and she was of legal age. As I said there was a power dynamic in play and didn’t make it morally right

I’ve told her that he’s powerful and could come for her

I'm not sure this is helpful; it just reinforces the power dynamic.

I think she will get over this is if she can meet other young women who have had a similar experience and talk to them about it. I don't know how you go about that but maybe she needs to look for people and set a group up for support.

In what way could he come for her? He’s just a musician and surely has more to lose than her?

Could he accuse her of stalking him? That would be a huge concern.

He’s threatened her with lawyers before, but she has lots of extremely concerning messages that he sent her when she was 17. Would agree that she could absolutely ruin his career

This is my worry, trouble is he treated her so badly that she feels that she never got closure. Although I then remember she was a young vulnerable fan and he overstepped the mark with a young girl who was essentially a teenager at the time

How did she meet him? And how well known was their “relationship” did you know at the time?

Im really sorry but her behaviour is stalking behaviour. You need to sit her down and explain the implications of her behaviour. MH or not, she needs to understand she could end up in prison over this.