Negative transference in therapy

[MyNiftySheep]

I am wondering if a counsellor would possibly terminate a client because of negative transference, or has anyone experienced this with their counsellor but been able to work through it.

It was addressed in session whom the counsellor reminds me of (more than one person) but it seems to be mainly negative. I think it has been there from the beginning, but has come up in different ways (sometimes thinking the therapist is not taking me seriously, or seeking comfort from the therapist) and died down for a bit, and unfortunately has ramped up a lot recently as negative.

From a lay(wo)man's reading, it seems that transference is fairly common and come up in various relationships through life as well (eg. work), but my progress has gone backwards recently and combined with the transference, I have a fear that the therapist will terminate me.

It is my mind a lot about what happens once they take it to supervision, if I am upsetting them by how I react in sessions when the transference comes up or if they are questioning their competence or effectiveness due to the length of time I have been going.

I suggest that possibly this is something you need to work through with your counsellor to move on from the issues that are being raised as that is part of the counselling. A counsellor is not a replacement for other kinds of relationships.

However if it is something you are constantly noticing then maybe a change of counsellor would be helpful. It is possible the same thing will happen again however as these could just be issues you have that need to be worked through rather than an issue with the counsellor themselves, but I have little information to go on from your post so can't tell either way.

The counsellor is presumably qualified (and not in training still as you mention supervision so I am not sure) so will be professional about this and not just dump you because of this issue but work through this with you (assuming you are sharing how you feel with the counsellor so they are aware of this)

Transference can happen and doesn't have to be a problem unless for instance your counsellor reminds you of someone who abused you. This would be a good reason to be honest and agree to find another counsellor in my opinion.

Are you making what you're calling negative transference explicit through your behaviour and attitude in sessions with your therapist, OP? Is it communicated explicitly through how you're talking to them at times? Are you doing anything like avoiding/missing or being late for sessions on a frequent basis, withholding payment, trying to change session days/times for no practical reason? Because from your post it sounds like you're basing your conclusion about negative transference on fairly implicit things like being reminded of other people, or thinking the therapist doesn't take you seriously. That doesn't necessarily mean you're communicating negative transference in any way. Seeking comfort from your therapist is part of what you're paying them for! Or at least, something they ought to be working on with you non-judgmentally and with empathy and acceptance.

Negative transference isn't really about thinking certain things about a therapist but masking what you're really thinking and feeling, it's more about how your negative associations play out explicitly in the relationship between you, so that the therapist then has to work with it skillfully, which is part of their job and what you're paying them for. All that fear that they're going to "terminate" you is part of an active transference but again, unless you're communicating that to them it's not helping you. Just fearing it, rather than bringing it into the open and exploring together where it comes from and what it really means, isn't therapeutic for you I'm afraid. Then again, if you are reacting in certain ways based on what you're thinking of as negative transference and they're not challenging that and trying to get to the bottom of it with you, then they're not the right therapist for you.

Hi OP,

I'm a therapist/ counsellor.

These are the things that a therapist is trained to work through with you in sessions. As a therapist, a big part of the job is being comfortable sitting with and exploring difficult emotions and experiences including how clients may respond to us. It's normal for your therapist to evoke these reactions within you. I know it can be challenging, but trying to bring as much of your experience towards the therapist forward to them will be very valuable.

For me, if a client brings these thoughts forward I am very, very grateful about it. It is not something I take personally or get upset about but something I am grateful that the client has been brave enough to share so we can look at it together. From a therapists perspective, these insights you are having are such valuable insights to explore and come to understand together. It will likely reveal alot of helpful insights towards other relationships and patterns in your life.

All the best,
Megan.