What would you do in this situation?

[anon990]

I was meant to go out tonight . I was giving two of my friends a lift from my sister to the location. I was meant to be there at 8.30 but didn’t arrive until 20.50 because my sister was running late , I told them and they replied if you’re not here in two mins I’m not going. I got there and said I’m outside and they said we’re already gone we weren’t waiting any longer . I felt upset by this and just went home I had spent all evening getting ready I’ve been so upset by it because I never go out, no one has texted me to ask if I’m coming . I obviously amnt now. Then my sister left instead of staying with me when I asked her to get a takeaway with me she ran up to up her boyfriend she wouldn’t even spend the time with me. What should I do next or what do u think of this situation

Is this a pattern of unreliability on your part? Was it an event that started at a certain time (restaurant table that wouldn't be held, film, play, etc) and you were going to make them late? That makes a big difference to how I would approach it.

No it was just a party

This is confusing. Do you mean you were also giving your sister a lift, she was running late so you then arrived late to your friends? If that was the case, it would have been better to let your sister make your own way there; it’s not really reasonable to just turn up 20 minutes after a time you’ve agreed with your friends.

if your sister wasn’t the cause of the lateness then it’s even harder to understand. Whether it’s an event that’s booked for a specific time, or ‘just a party’ it’s not really fair to turn up late when you’ve made an arrangement with other people. Maybe better next time to not offer lifts and then you only need to focus on getting yourself out?

It’s a bit unfair on you if you were late because of your sister running late, fair enough your friends not wanting to wait, but you did let them know, I don’t see it was your fault.

And how often do you do this?

I've had a person in my life who was habitually just a little bit late. Somehow they managed to be in time for appointments and work things, so they just weren't planning properly and expected us to wait. It was always, "traffic was bad." So I told them we would be leaving at x time and if they weren't there at that time, we'd go, they could make their own way there, and we'd meet them there. I did it one time and lo and behold, they were suddenly on time after that day.

You should have just gone to the party. They weren’t being unreasonable. Why martyr yourself?

Do you mean they went to the party not waiting for you? If so how did they went to the party ( you were their lift) and why didn’t you go to the party when you realised that they gone?