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Burn out and how to cope

10 replies

FairOpalFish · 24/01/2026 01:19

I work mostly from home currently doing condensed hours - almost full time but have one day off a week. I’ve been feeling a constant feeling of pressure and stress for quite a while and almost a sense that during my working week I can barely come up for air.

Life outside of work is hectic and feel all I do is bounce from one endless chore to the next, almost like a robot. My husband often works away and I have 3 kids - one particularly demanding toddler with serious energy levels and we have been struggling massively with his behaviour. I feel my nervous system is wired. I find it hard to switch off when not working, constantly ruminating and worrying and overthinking. Finding it hard to sleep.

work is very productivity heavy, and I constantly have a feeling of urgency that I’m never doing enough despite often not even taking a break and my output is poor. I recognise that a lot of my stress is coming from my personality which I’m trying to work on but finding very hard. I always feel the need to be on top of everything, don’t like to under achieve, can’t have the house in a mess etc. But find that as I can’t let my standards slip I literally never stop. I feel I have zero work life balance and even on my day off I’m just exhausted and wired.

if someone reaches out for support in work I’m always so quick to respond but often at a detriment to my own sense of wellbeing and productivity. I constantly feel a sense of being pulled in so many directions and never have any time for myself. I feel I’ve hit a wall and hate to take off work but feel I may have to as I feel suffocated.

Has anyone been through this or any advice on how to navigate out of this.

OP posts:
Kitterkitkat · 24/01/2026 01:34

It sounds like you need to sign off for a week to catch your breath.

Is work supportive about being overwhelmed? Can your husband help out more at weekends and times in the week when he's there? Long term you need to find what suits and relaxes you.

Is there any possibility of getting a new job...?

Yes I felt completely stressed out earlier this week but more grounded now. It's ongoing situations but sometimes feels like it's too much.

FairOpalFish · 24/01/2026 01:39

Thank you.. I have already planned to change my working pattern with work but that isn’t due to start for another couple of weeks. I’m hoping that helps but I almost feel I can’t even make it another day to even make it that far. My husband is supportive but very busy too and often has to work weekends.

My job is quite niche and the options are very limited for new prospects so it’s unlikely I would be able to change realistically.

glad you are feeling a bit better.

OP posts:
Kitterkitkat · 24/01/2026 01:52

That's good about work change.

In the meantime, is it possible to take a couple of days off? I don't like the thought of you up stressing. Hot milk and honey should be soothing.

Honestly you're not alone, many of us feel like that at times! In the long run it would be good to build up destressing patterns like breathing exercises if you can step outside it for a few minutes (autocorrect tried to put distressing 🙄), if you can't sleep right now put on something you enjoy and have a hot drink. If you like hot drinks 🙂

FairOpalFish · 24/01/2026 01:55

Yes I will have to consider taking some time off I think, which goes against everything that comes naturally to me. Default mode is like it’s push push push, but I don’t feel well :(
thank you for your kind comment. I should be sleeping as I’m exhausted and toddler is actually sleeping right now- but I am just doing my usual ruminating! Thank you and hope you also find some calm in the chaos

OP posts:
SleekWhisky · 26/01/2026 14:05

Thought I’d check in on you OP, sounds like you got some solid advice there. Wondering how the past 48 hours have gone for you?

Kitterkitkat · 27/01/2026 11:10

@FairOpalFish I wondered as well? Hope you did take some time off

Neurodiversemom · 27/01/2026 11:14

You’re showing classic burnout — constant stress, poor sleep, and feeling “wired” aren’t personal failings, just signs you’re overloaded.

Try small steps: lower your standards where possible, set boundaries at work, carve out real rest, and accept help. Time off isn’t weakness, it’s recovery.

FairOpalFish · 27/01/2026 20:09

Thank you so much for reaching out.

i have taken off work and now that ive finally stopped for the first time in what feels like forever, im realising how much i need this time and frankly, how unwell I actually am.

Sleep has been dire the past few nights. Toddler is really being a nightmare with sleep at the moment. I think I’d genuinely have a break down if I had to face work.

I’ve definitely done a lot of reflection the past couple of days and can see the toxic patterns I’ve got myself into. E.g that constant urgent feeling, too much focus on being productive and ‘doing’ all the time. Literally no self care and have just lost myself. I know it’s a challenging phase of life but somehow I feel I’ve just lost the ability to cope as well as I used to. I just feel totally done. I’m not sure how to proactively move forward to avoid the same thing happening again when I return to work, but I guess it’s half the battle to recognise the issues for now.

OP posts:
FairOpalFish · 25/02/2026 11:17

Hi everyone
Coming back to this as I found the kind support very helpful before. I’m coming to the end of my sickness period but unfortunately not feeling a great deal better. A lot of this is due to very poor sleep with my toddler - I haven’t slept through hardly at all since being off, up numerous times a night, we’ve had sickness in the house etc. I feel I haven’t had as much f a rest as I’d hoped. I want to ask the gp to extend my time but also starting to feel guilty for being off even though I know if I return, it’s unlikely anything will change as I’m still exhausted and feeling emotionally fragile.
not sure what the point of this is. Perhaps just seeking some guidance from anyone who has been in same scenario in taking longer off work due to stress. I know overall this time is brief in a long career but can’t help the feeling of guilt and fear

OP posts:
Bakednotfriedwalkers · 25/02/2026 12:51

I think it is better to take enough time off to ensure that your return to work is sustainable than to rush back and have to go off again. Guilt is quite normal for MH issues but you are unwell so you need to be kind to yourself as you would be if it was a friend or family member in your position.

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