I had a look and couldn’t find any so thought I would start one! I thought it would be good to have somewhere to check in with people going through or who have gone through the same.
I’m a 32 year old single mum to DS14. I think I’ve probably always struggled with my MH, it seems to run in my family but it only really came to a head about 4/5 years ago when I basically had a bit of a breakdown. Took some time off work and went on antidepressants (Citalopram) which seemed to help keep my head above water but I was still struggling. I started a new job about 8 months ago and was doing so much better but the insomnia side effect from the citalopram tipped me over the edge eventually. I came off Citalopram and have been raw dogging life since.
I’ve had two depressive episodes since then, one minor about three months ago and my current one which is pretty major. I had been doing so well and was much happier than I had been in a long time but then I got the flu, a UTI, throat infection etc. I felt so poorly physically but the lack of routine, not leaving the house etc really threw me and my mental health hit rock bottom again. I’ve been off work for 2 weeks now and for most of that I wasn’t able to leave the house, sleeping most of the time, not eating, not looking after myself or my environment combined with really sad, dark thoughts.
I have spoken with the doctor and they have prescribed more antidepressants but if I’m being honest, he wasn’t very helpful. He has prescribed Citalopram and Mirtazapine even though I said I was very concerned about the side effects of both and would prefer to try something else. At the moment, I’ve decided not to take them. I know I’ve been here before and I know I can claw my way out. I just wish I could feel better for more than 3 months at a time but I also know that it was being physically ill that caused me to slip this time. I was taking St John’s wart before and found it helpful so I’ve restarted that.
Today hasn’t been the easiest day so far. I woke up early with severe anxiety. Mornings are always the worst for me even when I am in a better place. I know getting straight up works best for me but I did I do that? No, I stayed in bed tossing and turning and rotting till 12. Eventually got my shit together and got up, washed, brushed my teeth, stuck a wash on and took the dog for a walk. Grabbed a Gregg’s for lunch and I’m going to do some housework before I jump in the shower. DS wants me to go to an ice hockey game with him tonight, this morning the thought of going made me want to cry but now I’m actually looking forward to it. It’s bizarre how different my morning brain is to the rest of the day!
If anyone else is struggling with their mental health please feel free to join and share your experiences. I’m planning to check in here everyday, even if I’m talking to myself haha.