For about the past three months I would say I've progressively been working myself into an anxiety fuelled nervous breakdown. At the moment one of my parents has late stage lung cancer, and as a knock on effect, it's now making me paranoid about my mum's health. I got queried as having OCD often as a child but it never got formally diagnosed, and in adulthood, it comes out as me feeling like I need to obsessively check and press my breasts every single day to look for lumps, being hyper-reactive and overly analytical of people's facial expressions, with the health anxiety, it literally gets to the point where I feel like people can look at me when I'm out in public and that they will be able to tell that something is wrong with my health just by looking at me. Literally all my time in the day is spent by hyperfixating on the fact that I probably have a genetic disposition to getting breast cancer, I don't have the will to want to do anything that is a form of commitment because it seems futile if I'm going to get diagnosed with, or already have breast cancer. I often feel like moving out would be a helpful thing to do as it could put some detachment between the anxiety, but then I would be constantly paranoid about what would be happening at home after I left. When I've spoken to people about this, their attitude has felt insensitive as I've been told that if I did get diagnosed with breast cancer, what would be so bad about it, and it doesn't seem to take into account the fact that most young women won't have to mentally prepare for potentially having to have a mastectomy, and i already have