Taking time off work

[Poppyloves]

Trigger warning - mentions of suicide and self harm.

Hi everyone ive nc'd for this one. Im really stuck in my current situation and i dont know what to do.

Me and my dh seperated 12 months ago and 8 months ago I started a relationship with somebody I was friendly with at work.

The last couple of months have been very stressful for me, one of my dc has been expelled from school due to her behaviour. Ive also noticed quite controlling behaviour from my bf which makes me wonder if the relationship is right for me especially with where my head is at right now. The problem is we work very closely together and everybody sees him as a nice friendly outgoing guy. It kills me being in work knowing what he can be like outside.

Me and my ex are now dividing up the house etc and I have the added worry of all this. I want to go off work with stress but my bf says I throw the word stress around to easy and I dont know what stress is.

Im so mentally drained, and I have struggled so much in the past with depression self harm and suicidal thoughts, but have come out of the other side. Everything in my life right now just makes me wonder if this is my time to give up and just go. Like ive tried to be a normal functioning human for the last 37 years but life just isnt for me.

I feel like i need some time off but would feel so guilty about going off with stress. Like its almost like people expect you to be lying when you say you have mental struggles.

I dont know what i want from this post maybe just for my feeling to be validated.

Your feelings are valid and if you are seriously thinking of suicide then it sounds like you are depressed as well as stressed.
The first thing you need to do is ditch your wanker BF as he obviously doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
Also, see your GP asap and tell them what you have said here about your state of mind and ask to be signed off for a few weeks.
You need to keep yourself safe for yourself and your children.

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a tough time. To be honest, it sounds like it was probably way too soon to get involved in a new relationship and this work guy doesn’t sound like he’s particularly good for you. I think you need to pull back from him and distance yourself as he doesn’t sound supportive nor does he sound like he can be trusted. I would be wary of him.

Have you got friends or family you can confide in instead?

I agree with the previous poster that you should see your GP. Tell your GP how you’re feeling, especially about the suicidal thoughts. They will most probably sign you off and they may suggest trying anti-depressants.

You have experience of going through mental health struggles in the past and coming out the other side. You can do it again! There is nothing wrong with getting support from professionals and people you trust to help you through this. If you need time off work, you need time off work, it’s that simple. Would your line manager be supportive if you told them how much you’re struggling post divorce?

Ignore your boyfriend and please just take some distance from him. Not being at work with help you with this. One thing at a time. Go to your GP and tell them what's happening and then take it from there.

Get away from your BF and I bet things start to improve from there. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of him at work, it only matters what you think of him and he has been very unsupportive.

Go to your GP - mental health is just as important as physical health.

Concentrate on your own and your DC wellbeing.

Start from there.

And this part of your OP 'Everything in my life right now just makes me wonder if this is my time to give up and just go. Like ive tried to be a normal functioning human for the last 37 years but life just isnt for me.' I understand. I have been there too. Tell the GP this bit. You deserve support. Please stay, I promise it's not your time.

Is your boyfriend a medical professional to make that statement of your stress levels? Go to GP as urgent and depending on your employer, check what support they can offer towards stress.

Aw OP divorce is so hard. Awful. One of the most stressful things someone can go through. Get rid of the bf? Controlling is no good.

How are you today @Poppyloves?