How can I get past my travel anxiety?

[therapymedswhatelse]

I’ve been anxious over travelling since I had my kids 20 years ago. I can drive to local places that feel safe but anything that involves over 30 mins or to places I don’t know, I get extremely anxious (panic attacks, can’t get off the loo, therefore can’t travel). I have the same reaction when travelling by train/coach/plane. I haven’t had a holiday in years. Obviously this is quite restrictive and I don’t want to feel like this.

I have had CBT & counselling on NHS that did nothing. I have had private hypnotherapy sessions and psychotherapy for many years. I take anti anxiety meds and propanol. GP even prescribed Valium once so I could travel 4hrs on a motorway to see family. They won’t prescribe again.

Has anyone had similar and beaten it?

My mums a bit like this so I don’t think it’s uncommon. The only thing that’s worked for her is exposure therapy… so making herself go a bit further, drive across tha bridge, push a bit more.

My phobia is blood and 5 years ago I would cry, panic attacks, faint etc at the thought, after 3 years of quarterly blood tests I still hate it but I can sit there quietly, breathing slowly, and don’t panic about it beforehand. Just because I’ve had to do it over and over and each positive experience makes your brain relax about it.

So, unfortunately, I’d say forcing yourself to travel is likely the only way to get past it.

Would it help to just accept it for now and make your peace with it, even embrace it? Just really lean into being this person that doesn't travel? So that you can be at peace with yourself and enjoy your local life.

A second avenue would be to look into EMDR which is a trauma processing therapy. I presume there was something (real or imagined) that set off your fear.

Look to the root cause – what happened, or what were you afraid of happening – 20 years ago? Did you have any problems with anxiety before that or did anyone in your childhood instil a fear of travelling in you?

It's not something you were born with so it can (in the vast majority of cases) be reversed, once you know what it is that needs to be reversed. And even if you don't consciously remember what it was, your mind does.

Practice, planning, a compelling reason and supportive companions.

As we came iut of lockdown, I was newly widowed and hadnt been anywhere for however long it was. The first time I went on a motorway, to see my sister, I was terrified, but I did it because the alternative was to stay home alone forever. Then other similar trips and I travel all over the country, alone as needed.

Then some friends were going to a trip to a sporting event abroad. I was scared but decided to "Feel the fear and do it anyway." I've been on about a dozen of these trips now. I still feel stressed at the planning stage but make sure that's meticulous so every eventuality is covered. I've also been abroad 3 times on my own.

It's not always easy, but what is if it's worth doing?

I had EMDR therapy for travel anxiety, after I had a life threatening event on a train. It was life changing.

Yes I think this is what I’ll have to do as nothing I’ve tried so far has worked.
Im just so utterly terrified of it. And then terrified by my anxious reaction. It’s a horrible cycle.
Well done on making huge progress in your blood phobia and on your mum facing her anxiety too.

The problem with acceptance is how much it affects my family including my DC. It means me not visiting them at uni for example, or visiting siblings.

EMDR is something I’ve heard about but not really had much feedback from others about. I’m not even sure it’s trauma based - there have been some incidents (doesn’t help having IBS) but nothing major. I do remember seeing a horrific crash on the M1 once that still stays with me 15 years later (lorry driver died). Then I read about families dying in car crashes and that sends me worrying. I see how others out there drive badly and aggressively and it just makes me want to
keep my family safe at home.

I also have travel anxiety although if I drive I seem to be okay. Mine rears it head as a hot flush so if I travel I take a really cold bottle of iced water and sip it to calm myself down. This helps the physical symptoms less stopping that cycle. I agree with others the only way to combat it is to push yourself to do it until it feels normal

I do remember seeing a horrific crash on the M1 once that still stays with me 15 years later (lorry driver died). Then I read about families dying in car crashes and that sends me worrying.

That must have been horrific for you and that is probably a big part of your ongoing fear, and why your mind – specifically the Reticular Activating System, a small bundle of nerves in your brain stem – is drawing your attention to reports of fatal car crashes which serves to reinforce the (false) belief that travel is dangerous. If you believe something your mind will search for proof that you are right, even if it that belief is objectively incorrect. This can be reversed.

Have always been anxious and was teased over it. Not had much support from family or friends, told just get over it really. It’s having my DC that really turned it up to unbearable levels - I just want to keep my family safe. My DH drives our DC to uni but I can’t go and when DH returned from that trip today he told me that someone almost hit him on a roundabout then was shouting and gesturing at him. Some people drive so aggressively.

We have friends whose young son died in a car accident whilst driving home to them.

In my 20s I loved going on holiday and travelled around various different countries. I think if teleporting was available I’d happily do that!

Tell me more! How many treatments did you need? What does it involve?

What kind of therapy can reverse it?

Your subconscious mind is doing what it believes is the right thing to keep you safe – triggering anxiety, fear and panic when you even think about travelling.

It's akin to someone having a phobia of all dogs because they were bitten by one dog once; the mind is taking no chances of it ever happening again by swerving contact with all dogs. As a remedial hypnotist I work with the subconscious to let it know that the response is disproportionate to the risk and is now causing you to be unhappy. I know that you've tried hypnotherapy before but remedial hypnosis doesn't involve you being put into a trance, you are awake and actively participate in the process so it is far more practical and solution focused.

EMDR is trauma-based, it helps desensitise you to past trauma. As far as I know it has quite a good success rate.

It may be that the accident you saw triggered this fear - or your friends' loss of their DC.

I had 8 sessions on the NHS. It involves taking the traumatic memory and doing a formulation with the therapist, then when that's done, the rest of the sessions are processing the memory from start ot finish. Processing involves mentally walking through the memory while watching a dot on a screen that moves left to right, with the therapist guidance. It helps move the memory from into the long term memory part of the brain, so it's still there but doesn't feel like it's happening now.

I used to feel the same way, but with therapy, I've started to improve. Many people with similar travel anxiety manage to overcome it using different approaches like therapy, gradual exposure, mindfulness, and support. It’s a tough journey, but with the right methods, progress is possible.

I think for me it's finding the right methods. Having already had counselling, CBT, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and meds I was wondering what else is out there. EMDR may be something to look into. I think gradual exposure too, but I'd need support for that.