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I feel miserable

2 replies

Louise498 · 18/01/2026 09:47

Hi,

Im a 38 year old mum of three, been in a relationship with my partner for almost 16 years now. I just feel awful all the time, its like a sadness that just doesnt go.

I know part of how I feel is my relationship, I don't think Im in love with him anymore. We rent, will never have our own home simply because of how terrible he is with money (Im a saver, hes a spender). Hes given the same amount of bill money each month for years, even though everything is more expensive and he earns more than me. Im finding I have no money from my wages, but he won't give anymore - he constantly either gets annoyed I've asked, or just tells me he cant.

I think what really annoys me, is he will buy himself new clothes and shoes all the time. When I'm literally sat in old clothes, letting another bill bounce. Ive had so many conversations about needing some help and nothing changes.

I used to have two jobs to bring in extra, but lost one of the jobs almost a year ago and the lack of extra money is hitting hard. I've tried to find other work that can fit my other job and the kids, but I cant! Ive tried to think of making things to sell at home but have had no success. I just cant juggle everything anymore and I'm lost, miserable and tired.

I tried to put money aside for Christmas all year, but the reality is Im now in debt with my credit card as I put the majority on there. I told him I was doing this and asked if he could help later on - we've now come to the help part and hes told me he cant.

Our rent goes up soon as well, its just another punch in the face.

I feel trapped, I hate waking up and cant see any way out.

I have no one family or friend wise that I'd want to share how I feel with. I guess I'm writing this here just so I can get some if my thoughts out.

Sorry to whoever reads this, bit depressing I know.

OP posts:
Lizzbear · 18/01/2026 11:39

Sorry you’re feeling so miserable op.
You need to tell your partner exactly how you feel. It’s not all in you to keep everything going.
Good luck x

Realisation14 · 19/01/2026 07:46

This is easier said than done but you need to leave him. You don't love him and he's adding to your misery by not sharing the financial load or taking the bills seriously. Is the tennant agreement in your name, his or both? Don't just break up with him and work the rest out later, make a plan first of how things will be, including contacting CSA as it sounds like he won't willing give child support after the split. Check online what you'd be entitled to benefits wise if he weren't there. Email citizens advice.

As for side jobs, can you do something at home like other peoples ironing or make anything to sell?

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