Why are mental health services in the UK so lacking?

[HealthConcerns24]

Seriously? I did an an e - consult and then called my GP on Monday as I am really depressed. Not having suicidal thoughts but definitely having so intrusive thoughts that when I had previously led that way.

Am ok keeping myself safe as I know all the support out there having been here before but my god. 2 weeks before I can even have a phone call with my GP as it’s not “urgent” as I’m not suicidal. Would be closer to 5 weeks for a face to face appointment.

Over 2 years ago I saw a mental health practitioner through my GP surgery who couldn’t help me fully other than antidepressants which helped and once I felt better I weaned off them. She also referred me for therapy to due historic trauma which could have been affecting how I was feeling but was told it was a very long wait and I still haven’t heard a thing.

Now I’m bad again and I feel like I’m hitting my head on a brick wall trying to get help.

I can’t go on like this. Crying all the
time or feeling on the edge of crying. Not sleeping. Irritable and angry. Struggling at work and affecting my home life. It’s really no way to have to live!

Do people really have to be at the stage of wanting to kill themselves before someone will really listen and help?

Fuck knows. I have a child who has needed multiple expensive apointments with paedetrician, peadatric dietitian, SENCOs (two schools), Ed psych, Early help plus many more and I doubt most of it woulf have been needed if CAHMS actually followed through with their initial support offer rather than withdrawing it. This doesn’t consider the impact and cost of supporting family members.

It’s like everything public sector, the money and resources aren’t there so issues are ignored until they become a bigger problem and cost a lot more and use a lot more resources.

Sorry can you tell today isn’t a good week!

Sorry OP, that wasn’t helpful for you.

Ring in sick for work. Ring Gp and ask to speak to practise manager tell them you can’t cope and need to see a GP this week.

I know these are a big ask to do when you’re struggling.

I’m so sorry, it’s shit. Is there anything available through work? If you can, contact the GP again, at least via the online system.

Practical things -
if you ask for something specific eg to restart antidepressants you might find that happens quicker
therapy waiting lists need chasing. Shit but my dh was ‘on a list’ but turns out referral hadn’t been processed properly. We’d never have known without pushing. 2 years? I suspect this has happened to you
in our area you can self refer to MH services - they offer various things some more useful than others but worth checking out
There can be other access available eg employee assistance programmes through work

take two days off work to calm and reset and investigate. I know this won’t solve it but getting a bit of headspace might be useful

Does your employer have an employee assistance programme? When I was unable to get a gp appointment the gp through work signed me off until I could see my gp and get a prescription

@2026willbebetterim so sorry you are going through that. It honestly feels everything is lacking right now. Especially for a child who clearly is needing the help and support. I would be very angry and can understand completely why you say you are having a bad week!

Id love to be able to call in sick. However, I cannot do that without adversely affecting my colleagues. We have a few off sick already and if I call in sick we will be down to unsafe numbers. I’ve got a lovely weekend with family planned though and hanging onto that thought to get me through today and tomorrow.

@PermanentTemporaryWe have mental health first aiders but they don’t have any qualifications in the area, just listen to you talk and sign post you to the right place for help, which ive done myself. Ironically, I work in a GP surgery on reception. However the one I work in is the best in the area and we would never ever make a patient wait for weeks if they were struggling like me. The surgery I’m registered at is the worst in the area (can’t be registered where I work due to conflict of interest). Where I’m registered never keep staff long either.

@LottieMaryi asked for that on the e-consult but they said I have to speak to a GP before re-starting them. I think because I can talk the talk (ie know how to keep myself safe) they have fobbed me off as I’m not making a fuss. Calling in sick is not an option sadly as it would adversely affecting my colleagues and we would be at unsafe working practice levels. But when I get that phone call I will ask them to check my referral for the trauma therapy / counselling.

@poptart75if we had more staff I would definitely do this. I’m ok (ish) at work, just paranoid I’ll make a mistake but I do check with supervisors etc if not sure. I go sick too (we have a few off already) we will be at unsafe staff levels and that won’t be good for anyone

What is more inportant, your health or your work? If they need to make redundancies do you think feeling a sense of responsibility would make a difference?

Do you live with anyone?

@2026willbebetterdo you know what, you are absolutely right. It wouldn’t make the slightest difference. I need to look after myself first.

@Halfthethrillyes, husband and our 2 children who are 17 and 11. Why do you ask?

and are you family aware of the critical situation?

The sooner you start to look after yourself the quicker you will recover and the less time you will need off work.

@Halfthethrill not really. Husband and eldest know I’ve struggled in the past and that I’m a bit low now but not the full extent. I don’t want to worry them

@2026willbebetteryou are right. Thank you for this. No one else at work would worry about others to the extent I am, why should I?

But you say you’re crying all the time, irritable, not sleeping and affecting home life.

You need to open up to your family about present situation, not just for your sake

All services are overloaded and underresourced. MHS have always been - I saw that in the 90s as a student in a relevant field. This will not change. The country does not have the money
you need to do what you can to help yourself - moodmapping; embrace behaviours that are known to help (particularly exercise/walks, gratitude journals; off screens); ensure your nutrition is top quality and supports neurological health (no alcohol, sweets, processed food, lots of fruit, veg, a strong multiB vitamin).
My DS successfully manages her chronic depression using all these means

Please talk to your family, if your DH was going through this, would you want him to stay silent?

YANBU. When I had DD2 and was seriously suicidal with PND I was referred to the perinatal metal health team. They referred me for therapy but I was told that once your baby turns one, you are no longer under the perinatal team, and due to waiting lists it was likely that DD2 would be one before I got to the top, so wouldn’t be seen. I was referred when DD2 was about 8 days old, but you needed to have been referred during pregnancy to have a chance of being seen.

I agree with PPs that you should take today and tomorrow off work, and speak to your husband.

Given that you are within a GP, talk to your own practice manager or a trusted GP there. Say that you understand that you cannot be a patient but that you are concerned for your health and are not getting the speed of assistance needed from your own practice. They have a duty of care to you as an employee and have the skills and channels - them calling your GP and saying "you have a patient at risk who needs a fast response" would be likely to elicit a speedier response/appointment.
"Oh I can't do that..." Yes you can.

They are chronically underfunded that’s why they are shit, particularly in contrast to other areas of the NHS

We want better MH care in this country we need to campaign for it, but those who need it most usually can’t advocate for it due to their situation

It’s not just MH, it’s also physical health services that are hard to access.

In any case, I would use chat gpt and mumsnet threads as therapy.

I have been off work for 9 months and sometimes am immobilised for long periods with depression/anxiety, unable to eat or keep clean and I’m only at the very start of maybe getting some help, long after my life has fallen apart. So, yes, it’s inadequate. There are also no benefits for this, I have been advised I can’t get PIP as it’s only for physical disabilities.

You’ve been advised incorrectly

plenty of mentally unwell people claim PIP, PIP is based on what you can and can’t do for yourself what you need help with and why. Fill in the form - what harm can it do? You might get turned down but you can appeal - it’s worth a shot!

Lack of funding and some politicians and media outlets insisting that mental health issues are not real and just an excuse to claim benefits....

Her husband, maybe. Not her kids. They’re kids, they shouldn’t take on the worry or emotional burden of this. Or if so it should be done in an age appropriate way that doesn’t give them any responsibility for the situation. But it’s not the only thing OP needs to do, she needs and is entitled to professional support.

OP, take some time off lovely. Go back to basics. Eat, hydrate, get fresh air and plenty of of rest. Try and pass on some responsibility to your husband if you can? How are things there? Can he take on the bulk of the load so you can rest more?

Look into local charities for support for while you’re waiting and for long term. You can build a support network around yourself which will help massively. Some local crisis cafes/safe havens will have wellbeing sessions, look into mental health support activities locally and recovery colleges. Peer support is another one to look into. Reach out to the charities and ask what is available to you (I know that can be a daunting task while feeling like this, so maybe try one every couple of days, fire off an email if you don’t feel up to calling?) Mind is also a really good option for counselling. If you want to bypass the GP for longer term counselling/support from the NHS, see if your trust has a Single Point of Access, you can usually self-refer. They will call for an assessment and refer you to the most appropriate service for your needs.

As for your original question, severe lack of funding. I worked in crisis care, moved to elderly care and for all my sins I’ve gone back into inpatient support. The threshold for help is ridiculously high. I have to emotionally detach from it because otherwise I’d be permanently steaming, but so many like yourselves aren’t getting the help and support they need.

Sending you my best wishes.

How are you doing @HealthConcerns24 ? Have you spoken with your husband? (If he’s supportive)