Struggling when starting a new job

[Elixir86]

I'm not sure if this is best here or in the work chat but I'm really struggling having just started a new job.

I found January last year really tough off the back of a depressing festive season, so I've been expecting things to be a bit hard anyway and for some reason I thought a great idea would be to throw a new job in the mix. Although it has some wfh days, and more flexible start/end times, its between 30-40 mins extra travel (each way) than my last.
I'm only in the first week but already mentally and physically exhausted having to try and plan all my start and end times so I can get to the kids before wrap around care shuts.
I thought I'd have more work life balance, but so far it feels like I have loads less.

I single parent 50% of the time and whereas I used to feel like the days without the kids I could do things in the evening it now feels I'm going to have to work longer days to compensate for when I have them and need to sort pick ups. It won't give me any more time with them as core hours mean they still have to go to wraparound care.
Looking forward I don't know how I fit in dentists, doctors or anything that needs doing in the week. And I used to do food shopping/chores in the evening so I could have quality time with the kids at weekends and now it's more like eat, wash up, go to bed.

I feel like a total idiot not seeing this before accepting the role. I'm going to stick with it for a bit as I know you need to, but I'm crying to and from work and dreading the next long day.
I should've recognised how good it was working 15 mins from home and school.

Anyone got any advice?

I genuinely don't feel that it's going to change, learning the role won't help the commute or long days, and I miss being in an office with people as I spend a lot of time alone and am already feeling isolated in a quiet house.
I love my home, and don't want it to feel ruined by being in it all the time (I can't really be working from a cafe as a) none close and b) my role requires multiple screens and is confidential)

My only advice is give it time. It takes a while to settle into a new routing an find your cadence with a new commute and ways of fitting everything in at home. I’ve had a 45-60 minute commute for a few years now having previously had the luxury of a 20 minute walk. I can’t remember how long, but probably 2-3 months before I really got settled into it and became accepting of it.

I have some WFH days too. I maximise those for chucking in a load of washing, cooking a decent dinner, spending a bit more time with the kids, but then my office days I accept I do the bare minimum, something quick and easy out of the freezer for tea or potatoes and beans type stuff, try not to worry about house work other than wiping down the kitchen. Always keep on top of the basics like bags packed the night before so everyone is ready for school/work etc. Dentist appointments on my WFH days as late as possible in the day. Drs appointments again on my WFH days and I make up the time for them (agreed with my manager). Once you’ve been in the role a while and gained trust I’ve found it easier to ask for greater flexibility and manage my own time more.

i have an online food shop that comes Friday evening. Chores including some batch cooking get crammed into Saturday morning, so we always have Saturday afternoon and a full day on Sunday for family time - I’d like more, but it is what it is. It’s not ideal, but I need to work.

I think I'm grieving what I had before and chose to give up and feeling like an idiot.
I'm not getting paid more in my new role, it was more because there was instability where I was, likely redundancies, role changes, lot of people I knew leaving etc.
My new one is 30 mins less hours a week actually working, but instead of being out of the house from 8:30-5:30 I'm out from 7:30-6 so I just don't feel any positives.