Being a 50/50 mother following a very abusive marriage and an even more challenging and long 3 yr divorce, I find myself being a mum to my 2 children every other week.
Im terribly lonely and don’t do well on my own. I also struggle with the idea of going on my own on holiday. I still see my identity very much as being a mother in the first place to my children, so thinking about booking a holiday on my own is just weird.
Ive done it twice before. Once I booked two nights in Eastbourne and got a horrible, cramped room in a hotel with a single bed. But the room aside, I spent my time outdoors, hiking the cliffs of Seven Sisters and renting a canoe. My 2 dogs came with me. It was nice. We had a great time. It didn’t feel like such a big deal because it was close to home and I only booked it the morning when I left.
Another time I went to Rhodes for 2 nights and 3 days. It was nice. I mostly floated around in the warm sea until I was wrinkled. It was heaven to be honest. The evenings
were not nice because I walked around looking for a restaurant, and everyone was a family, dressed up in their nicest outfits. Lots of groups of people laughing and having a great time at busy tables. When I found a table, I felt the staff treated me with pity, being on my own. I think especially in culture like Greece. They are conservative and they like family and groups. It’s not common to be divorced. I mean, a the locals (the taxi driver, the hotel people, the restaurant people), they all asked where my husband was. Not IF I had a husband, but where he was.
This year, in Feb half-term, my 2 children are with their dad.
I don’t have a high paying job. Low paying to medium but I manage the holidays because I book the absolute cheapest flights, I only take a backpack, I don’t check in any luggage at all, and whilst there, I live on fresh bread and peaches etc. I might go to a restaurant ONCE. And I go skiing in Bulgaria, not in the Alps.
Ive taken my children 3 times to Bulgaria for skiing (each time, just 3 nights and 3 full days of skiing to keep the cost down).
I can’t really ski properly. Part of this is because I’m never skiing on my own!! I’m always teaching someone - the basics. How to stop, how to turn, how to snow plough, shifting weight from one foot to the other.
I wish I could ski properly. I wish I could carve and ski parallel all the time.
Im thinking of going to Bulgaria for skiing by myself over half-term. But I’m not sure if I will enjoy it. To be trapped in your own thoughts is a terrible thing. Not having an adult to speak to. It’s very depressing. I experienced this over Xmas recently.
And yes, there are companies who cater for single people and they take groups of solo travellers. The cost of those trips are so much! I can’t afford them.
I can go skiing for at least a third of the price , if not a quarter.
But I just can’t bring myself to book flights just for myself. I doesn’t feel right.
it makes me very depressed because all I ever wanted to do was being a mum (fulll-time) for my daughters. It was like this before the divorce and before his barristers destroyed me a ripped me to pieces over 5 court proceedings.
Should I go skiing by myself in Feb? I’m worried it might make me more unhappy than happy. The only advantage is that I can ski properly and get better. I can’t see another advantage.