In certain family relationships I’ve been the one to keep in touch and suggest meeting up.
I’m starting this year by being up front and truthful in saying you are important to me, I want to see you but I’m not going to continue to reach out to you feeling disappointed and hurt when our plans inevitably fall through.
The relationships are unsupportive and very one sided. I’ve avoided facing up to this for too long. The connection is more important to me than to them. So I’ve firmly but kindly put the ball in their court - you know where I am, it would be great to see you but going forward it will have to come from you.
I’m resigned to the fact that there will be no further contact.
It feels good to be free of pseudo relationships that are expensive in terms of gifts given out of a sense of obligation to their kids when our kids have never been considered. All their kids are adults now.
Their weddings and significant birthdays past. No children are going to wonder why or feel hurt now I don’t send them gifts anymore.
I guess enough is enough.
I could have just gone silent but then I wouldn’t have given myself the benefit of basically saying to them I’m done with the pattern of maintaining this attachment, you know where I am.
I also think should our paths cross at family events there have been no harsh words only my declaration of Independence.
I guess if that’s a problem it’s no longer mine. It will a nice surprise if they do feel they’d like contact but I won’t hold my breath.
It’s taken me a long time to get to this point.
I’d be interested in feedback.