Overly affected by TV shows

[SassyGoldFinch1]

I know the most reasonable response to this is going to be “get a grip/get over yourself”, but I’m hoping someone can relate/has advice.

I’ve found I can’t watch anything even slightly stressful anymore, so I typically avoid. If I do, I get too sucked into it and feel what the characters are feeling really deeply.

Example - we watched Pluribus on Apple TV. It’s about a virus that makes most people behave strangely, excepting the main character who is left alone in this new reality kind of thing. Some violence.

I was really affected mentally by Covid (massively overthinking, I’m grateful I didn’t suffer loss) and developed a massive fear of contamination. I’ve thought I have it under control. I work in a school now which is hardly a germ-free zone!

But yesterday after watching an episode of that show I felt physically sick and tearful. My heart was going so fast. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and kept getting intrusive thoughts.

I get nervous any time anyone gets in a car on a show in case they crash, even if it makes no sense for the plot.

It’s ridiculous! Can I stop this? Can I do something to turn off the intrusive thoughts? Is it just me? I feel pathetic!

It's not just you and you are definitely not pathetic! First off by avoiding stressful stuff on TV you are informing your subconscious that it can't cope with it, which then becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. There's a difference between simply not enjoying that type of show and believing that it is going to affect you (if you believe it will, it will.)

A thought is not a fact. It is simply three elements – an image (either stationary or moving), a sound (a voice or other noise) and a sensation. If you change any one of those in your imagination you change the whole thought.

For example this video is quite tense:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nv5i_cY2IJs whereas this https://www.youtube.com/shorts/4AnLAxVtXKk of exactly the same footage but with an altered vibe will make you feel completely different.

I get what you mean.

For various reasons, I've barely watched any TV for about 15 years. Over Christmas, I got into a few documentaries and shows.

TV has changed! Its so much about what psychologically draws you in, blurring lines between fiction and reality (for example I saw a documentary about the Titanic that used AI and interviews spoken by real actors). We are also watching this at home, whereas I don't know about you but I'd usually have gone out to the cinema to watch a movie. You come out of the cinema and have time to readjust. We have so many channels and choice (and noise).

I'm more deliberate in what I watch - I want to give something my full attention but that will also mean that it will probably stay with me for a few days - so it has to be worth it.

You can have therapy to deal with things though - if you want to watch TV without over identifying too much, I'm sure that CBT would help with that goal.

I don’t think you are being silly or overreacting. It makes complete sense to me.

If you were affected by Covid and Pluribus brings up similar feelings, personally, I would stop watching it. Tv and films are a form of escapism for me, not exposure therapy 🤣

I also minimise how much news I take in, as too much would just make me stressed and anxious and it’s not worth it, particularly as most of it is bad news.

When I was in my 30s, a friend in her 50s told me she didn't watch stressful TV any more.

I'm 49. I don't watch stressful TV anymore. That's post lockdown.

TV is designed to get you to inhabit their world - all these creators do a fantastic job and I take my hat off to them. But be careful which world you choose to inhabit. There is enough awful stuff going on without watching it on TV.

I think it's a great shame that we don't have any fun fluffy comedies on any more. Real shortage of those. Far too much sinister stuff on.

I think it's party due to ageing, becoming more sensitive to emotions in middle-age.

maybe hypnosis would help.

That sounds like anxiety to me - your body is reacting in a disproportionate way to things. I will cry if something on TV is sad or moving but what you’re describing sounds quite extreme to me. What’s happening on TV obviously can’t hurt you but your body is giving you a physical reaction as if it can. There are lots of things people do to support their mental health - exercise, meditation etc. It might be worth trying some of those options and if not, having a chat to your GP.

Completely normal i was seriously effected by covid was in hospital a long time and nearly died haven't been able to watch a medical programme since use to love 24hrs in a&e. I also remember having to go to court years ago and couldn't watch any programmes involving court for years. I tend to stick to comedys, romance or things I use to watch as a kid.

Address the underlying causes (your fear of contamination) with support (such as therapy or CBT, of self-guided support such as NHS-approved resources).

But also alongside that, it's ok to be a person who enjoys comforting TV rather than stressful TV - the amount of murder, peril, threat, stress watched in the 21st century is pretty weird really and if you want to read up on it, lots of articles have been written about how it affects the human brain.

Thank you so much for these kind responses ❤️ I don’t have a massive urge to watch scary stuff but my response to this felt so OTT and uncontrollable. I’m a teacher and I’ve been struggling to prioritise eating well and excercie etc but I know this will help the anxiety. Thank you again for making me feel more sane!

I find QI a good stress free program to watch.

I also won't watch anything set in the pandemic (or quizes filmed with those perspex screens), as that sets me right back.

There are far too many grim tv shows now; gruesome stuff about awful subjects. I’ve realised that they make me very anxious so I avoid them, but even if I’m watching something with ominous music, I put the subtitles on and mute the sound - that helps a lot.