Therapist keeps asking me for specifics, can’t think of any.

[Overstimulated]

I’ve started to dread therapy. I keep getting asked for specific times that I feel anxious.. and I keep telling him that I’m anxious all of the time, it never stops. I’m exhausted from it because I can just be led on the sofa and my chest feels heavy with doom and the feeling like something awful is going to happen.. it’s quite literally all of the time.

but they keep asking ‘when you last felt like this, what happened?/what had happened/what was you doing/where was you’

I have said clearly that I feel like it’s not specific but more 24/7, that I can’t pinpoint my anxiousness because it’s constant. But I get the same ‘when’ question multiple times a session and it’s starting to make me feel really awkward and like I’m not making any progress.

He's not listening! Replace him, not all therapists are equal @Overstimulated

So has anything dreadful happened since you have started to have that general feeling of doom?

Have you ever sat on the sofa feeling the dread and then said to yourself. But all the other times I dreaded things that never happened so I’m going to ignore this today?

Are you doing CBT?
It's a waste of time in most circumstances in my opinion.

What he should be asking is not what happened, etc but what are you anxious about, then and now? Anxiety is a 'doing' emotion so it is linked to events (both real and imagined) but there's no point in trying to force a response.

For example, you say you have the feeling like something awful is going to happen what would be helpful to ask is exactly what awful thing and where did that thought come from.

If someone tells me they are afraid of everything we break it down, because 'everything' is a lot of things. Are you afraid that your chair will collapse beneath you? Are you afraid of the mug beside you? Are you afraid of the grass outside? When someone can focus on the actual thoughts that are distressing them, then you can make progress.

Exactly. You saying you feel it 24/7 isn't helpful to the therapeutic process. Sit down now and think exactly what am I feeling anxious about now? Where am I feeling it? What is the dread focusing on?

The not listening is unhelpful, isn’t it? He’s trying to illicit triggers and core beliefs and to establish a root cause. If he is a CBT therapist he’s likely trying to get you to see how your thoughts, feelings, actions and physical symptoms are connecting and how you can challenge the anxious thoughts. It might not be the thought / situation that is causing the anxiety but the thought that is maintaining the anxious state that needs to be identified. Getting to grips with what you are thinking, what your inner voice is saying and being able to externalise it might help to challenge and cope with the overwhelm.

it may well be that this therapist is not a good fit, trying a different type of approach might be helpful.

Maybe keep a record of particularly acute events. What came to mind when you were laying down and your chest felt heavy? Or when you had to stop doing something because you felt overwhelmed perhaps.

I have trauma from my childhood and teenage years. Then ended up in a very abusive relationship. I've tried therapy a few times it was completely pointless I couldn't verbalise my feelings and felt retraumtised. I've learned that movement helps swimming, walking and recently gardening. I just have to keep moving.

But What are you anxious about?

Money? Rent?
Fucking up the kids?
Being unlovable?

What are you worried will happen ina worst case scenario?
You die... you are homeless... what?

So for example - the kitchen is a mess.
Its feels overwhelming to go lie on sofa and feel anxious...
The reason you feel anxious might be the kitchen mess - and the mess feels overwhelming.
And upon discussion it turns out your dh made the mess... and further discussion reveals you find it stressful but dont call him out on it and let him treat you badly because you fear rejection and believe you are unlovable
.... or something.

That's a 1000 x more helpful to a therapist and yourself than "I feel anxious all the time - nothing specific about any of it... just feelin' anxious"

To put it another way, how do you know you are anxious? Is it a feeling in your body, a thought, something you can describe? When you start to feel that anxiety how does it impact your behaviour and how do you attend to it? What are you thinking might happen when you have those feelings?

In all sincerity your post is about as useful as a chocolate teapot! I don't mean to be disrespectful but when you are so anxious you can't rationalise how you feel, let alone explain how it feels physically. I

@Icecreamhelps well perhaps it isn’t useful to you, but it might be to someone else. And perhaps instead of posting to tell me just how useless I am you could just scroll past?

I didn't say you as a person are useless. So please don't twist my words. Also you may note this is a public forum so I am entitled to reply politely to a post. Sometimes when your anxious you can't explain the questions you asked. When my mum was riddled with anxiety I would just help her wash her hair. Sit next to her in silence she was so anxious she couldn't speak. I didn't mean to offend you.

Can you tell your therapist about this feeling? That you don't feel heard, that the repeated questions make you feel awkward, that you are starting to dread your visits?

This therapist doesn't sound a good fit for you but a talking therapy does need you to talk. How do you think this should go? If you can say possibly we can direct you to a better field?

In order for us to get some control over anxiety, though, we have to begin to look at it in the ways @FurForksSake has suggested. Thinking of anxiety as some insurmountable force that we can never get any distance from keeps us feeling helpless and disempowered. If we don't start somewhere with a process of challenging it in ourselves we'll remain it's prey.

If a person with generalised anxiety, or constantly triggered anxiety, is living in a triggering environment and/or relationship context, that needs to be recognised. No amount of therapy, in and of itself, can change those environmental factors. And if that's the case, it has to be made explicit and the person with anxiety would need to seek other sources of support that can help address issues at a practical, concrete level. And when certain environmental factors and/or relationship contexts have been effectively addressed, the person can better make use of therapy.