This might be long apologies but I’m really not sure what to do.
For context I’m a single parent to DD17 (since she was 3) and a lone parent since she was 13. DD was diagnosed with Autism in 2022 and ADHD in 2023. I’m 59 and work full time and always have ( other than a 12 month stint in a job share where I worked 3 days per week which was great but my job share partner was awful so I went back to full time), since 2021 I have worked completely from home.
A couple of weeks before Xmas I had a catch up with my lovely manager and told her I was struggling with work and felt I wasn’t giving my best at all. She told me she had had review calls with the 3 Seniors I support and they had all given me glowing feedback with no issues. ( made my day hearing that).
However I absolutely know I’m struggling and think I’m the classic duck on water looking calm but paddling madly below the surface.
More context, I have been fighting our Local Authority since before DD’s diagnosis trying to get an EHCP for her, I tried twice, was turned down both times and managed to get it overturned the 2nd time via mediation. DD was out of school from March 2022 completely but I did manage to get a home tutor from the LA for 4 hrs per week.
In 2025 it was DD’s transition year (EHCP wise) and the LA offered her a college which was not suitable for her, I had to go to mediation again to get her EHCP changed as they had previously missed out all of the information from her Occupational Therapy assessment. I again managed to get that done and DD was offered the college we wanted.
She started in September at 2 afternoons per week and by December we had increased that to 2 x days per week with more hours per day. ( It was always going to be a baby steps approach as DD had been out of any kind of school environment for 3 years before college)
During all of this since 2022 and extra to fighting the LA I have been taking DD to numerous appointments with Psychiatrists, various therapists, various medical professionals etc. Now she has started college it is a 35 minute drive one way, college is in a tiny village a bit off the beaten track. On college days I have been taking her then working from my car in the car park until time to take her home. I’ve tried a couple of local cafe’s/garden centres to work from but it’s difficult as I can’t take calls there. Also I wanted to give DD the security of knowing I was with her while she settles into college, plus I’m wasting work time if I drive 35 minutes home then have to drive back again to get her.
A month ago I was also diagnosed with inattentive ADHD which I told my Manager about at our catch up. ( she also already knew about DD and me working from my car) She’s been really supportive, she referred me for an OT assessment and made a few suggestions. She suggested taking a few weeks off to ‘reset’ and try to reduce my stress, she also suggested being flexible with my work hours to give me rest periods which would hopefully also help my stress. Again for context I have Chronic Daily Migraine and Osteoarthritis and have had time off for a hip replacement and currently awaiting a knee replacement.
I cannot see the wood for the trees at the moment. I think I’m burnt out. I’m always in pain from my medical conditions anyway and have been for years but only ever take time off if it’s absolutely necessary. I’m so stressed with everything and feel like I’m on the verge of a breakdown but feel frozen in making any decisions.
What do you think? Honestly all opinions are welcome and really sorry it’s been such a long post. I’ve never written it all down before and it’s overwhelming just seeing it.