Daughter controlled by her partner

[Tea4ten]

My daughter has been ina relationship with a very controlling man for over three years. He’s a psychologist and I believe he’s exploited her insecurities to distance her from her family and friends. I initially thought I was imagining it…but I knew deep down I wasn’t. I see her irregularly although we live only a mile apart. If I call her and he’s there she won’t pick up the phone. The reason I’m sharing this is that her friends … very old good friends … want to talk to me. We were at a social gathering and neither of them talked to anyone else. I mentioned this to daughters best friend who says…we need to talk.

This situation has made me ill with IBS and generally feeling like shit about it. And I’m so angry … partly because I’m not able to talk about it to her in case I lose her.

I am very concerned at the extent of his control. My worries have been validated by her friends response to me. Sometimes I thought I was going a bit mad
Please help me.

Back to basics;
How old is your daughter?
Is she renting or bought with her partner?
Children?
Is this her first serious relationship?
Do you ever get to see both of them together? How do you perceive them interacting with one another?

She’s 45 and has a grown up son. She holds a senior management position and they don’t live together. She owns her own place as does he. She’s had quite a few relationships including with her son’s father who is very supportive of her. I’ve got on well with her previous boyfriends. When they’re together he always has his hands on her in some way …like he owns her.