The let them theory

[Mrsblobby88]

Book by Mel Robbins. Has anyone read this book and found it helpful? My anxiety is back is full force. I’m not sure if it is abit of SAD or the after Christmas blues. Feeling shit though :(

What are you anxious about? Anxiety is a 'doing' emotion so pinpointing (if you can) what your mind is telling you is the first step to resolving it.

As an aside I won't read or listen to Mel Robbins until she credits the author of the original poem, Cassie Phillips, for her success.

I had high hopes for Let them but gave up after a couple of chapters, it’s just paragraph after paragraph of ‘let them’ that’s all you need to know.

One book I did find really helpful is ‘Why has nobody told me this before?’ By Dr Julie Smith. She’s a psychologist and there are chapters on different ‘problems’ you can dip into and they explain what your brain is trying to do, and how to help yourself.

Mel Robbins is an attention seeking plaigarist 🫠

The only people I know that have shared the cringe inducing “let them” memes on their social media are those eternal victims who are the ones needing to change their own behaviour, yet seek to blame everyone and anyone else.

I’ve read this, and I actually found some of it quite helpful.

The main thing to say is that it’s probably mis-named, as the main point is actually Let them… and let me <insert helpful behaviour here>. Mel does comment in the book that it goes a bit wrong if you only do the first part.

I actually found the chapter on making friends as an adult really good.

I quite like her. I know she’s quite…positive 😄, and that can feel like a lot sometimes. I listened to a podcast episode of hers about grief recently - the expert she was talking to was really interesting, and it really re-framed a lot of my thinking.

I read it and found it quite useful albeit repetitive!

I try and remember it in my head when people make me want to exhale slowly. 'LETTTTTT THEMMMMMMM be fucking cunts' is generally what I say to myself. Not sure that's the message she hoped I'd take from the book, but it's helped me.

@PearlTeapot, that sounds useful actually 🤣.

I think the ideas behind things like Let them etc. are often good, but could also be conveyed perfectly well by a long article say.

@Mrsblobby88- how are you getting on?

I wondered whether you’d ever tried a SAD light. I’ve got one that I try now and then.

It’s more about focusing your energy on what is within your control. I quite like it and have found it helpful to ignore / not waste my time on negative behaviour.

I’m not sure how helpful it is with managing anxiety. I guess it could help you not to worry about things you can’t change. I do believe in the more we focus on the positive, the more positive we notice and feel. It has lifted my mood (along with lots and lots of other changes).

I found it useful. For example when someone was about to say/ do something to upset me I'd sort of interrupt and make it better. Now i just let it unfold.

The 'let me' bit is good. It's a way to help yourself go nc / lc with people who affect your mental health.