Health anxiety- it's crippling me, what will help?

[miniworry]

This week alone I have spent time in total fear over
-skin cancer (me) when I spotted a mole that's been there for years but thought it had gotten bigger

• lymphoma (me) I have terrible night sweats that I've had for years

• melanoma (husband) spotted a black mole on his scalp at bedtime last night

• bone cancer/leukameia (DD) she bruises easily but has had clear bloods and today said her leg hurts her

• genetic disorder (DS) he has put on much weight for the last 3 months

I write it down and it sounds crazy but Every single time I have that fear that runs cold through my body and I spend hours panicking. I'm on my knees with worrying and I'm just not living as I'm so scared of losing someone.

I know this all stems from my DS catching meningitis at 4 weeks old and his only symptom was a temperature. I have also lost an older family member to cancer on Boxing Day which doesn't help.

I'm on 50mg of sertraline but it's clearly not working. The rational part of me knows it's my health anxiety overthinking but in the moment I think 'this is the one that's actually true this time' and that's what stops me from getting help to address this. What if I put something down to my anxiety and I miss it?

Please offer me some light in those who have learnt to manage their health anxiety, as I'm struggling to stay afloat.

Thanks so much

Evening @miniworry and sending you huge hugs right now.

I Have been/am you on so many occasions throughout my life. Not sure of your personal circumstances but my HA definitely ramped up after having children.

It’s fairly subdued now but it really doesn’t take much for my mind to go to very dark places, similar to what you have described.

Im afraid I don’t have a magic wand but if I did, I’d wave it for both of us. There are times when my HA has almost dis-abled me from participating in normal family life. CBThas helped. Not the magic wand but definitely helped. I also find ‘being busy’ helps, but this can mean weekends and holidays can be challenging. It can be reeeeeaaaaaaly difficult but I do try to occupy my mind with other tasks.

A little technique which my therapist told me which has really helped me has been this; imagine all your ‘inner voices’ are sitting round the table at a dinner party you’ve organised. The one voice that wants all the attention/ wants to shout the loudest is the one that’s ruling your health anxiety/irrational thoughts. Now, picture yourself saying to this ‘voice’; “you are being far too loud and it’s no longer your turn. So I’m now going to quieten you and ask you to stop speaking, okay? No more noise from you at this table.” And then let the other ‘voices/guests’ speak. The ones that tell you you are a great mum/colleague/partner. The ones that tell you to focus on the here and now. The ones that want to be your friend and bring peace and tranquility into your life.

A little nugget that might just help a little. Sent with love.

You’ve got this…

this is health anxiety.
Trauma and loss trained your brain to expect danger, so every symptom feels real.
That certainty is a symptom, not proof.
Help is possible, and therapy (CBT/ACT) really works.
Tell yourself:
I don’t need to decide this right now.

The rational part of me knows it's my health anxiety overthinking but in the moment I think 'this is the one that's actually true this time' and that's what stops me from getting help to address this.

Bear in mind that your rational brain is quite capable of noticing things that need medical attention, without any help from the emotional part of the brain.

I often compare anxiety – of all types – to a herd (pack?) of meerkats; constantly scanning the horizon for any possible sign of danger. When we shared the savannahs with meerkats being ultra aware of potential attacks was a good strategy, but now the vast majority of us live very safe lives with excellent healthcare so being on high alert at all times is unnecessary and not good for our health in the long term.

When you are ready to address this, have a look at my AMA – lots of info about how thoughts work on there.

Im the same op

@JacknDiane I'm so sorry you feel like this too. It's really awful!

@Eyesopenwideawake that's a really good analogy, I really do want to try and get on top of it. I've had some cbt before over the phone but i don't think it was useful for me over the phone.

@maldivemoment I'm sorry you also struggled with it too but I can't tell you how much relief it brings me to hear that you've found a way to deal with it too.

This might sound odd, but actually genuinely becoming seriously ill cured me. I got cancer and while it was, and sometimes still is, difficult, it has made me look at life differently. I worry much less about small things. I accept that all of us will die, and whether that is sooner or later, death is still coming. So I try much more to grab the joyful things in life and stop fighting the monsters.

@Liftedmeup I can actually see how that would actually put eberything into perspective. Wishing you the best of health and a speedy recovery xx