Feeling low / not good enough

[sadieB7]

Reaching out for some advice / help.

How do I stop feeling low and not good enough? I have a loving partner and family but feel so lost. I’m 42, don’t drive, own my home or have children and feel a complete let down.

I don’t feel listened to in my family, but I am always there to lend advice / if anyone needs me and sometimes I just wish someone would ask me how I feel
but they never do. My family are lovely but very chaotic, my older sister doesn’t get on with my mum and twists a lot of things and lies, I seem to be the only one that calls this out while my other siblings stay quiet so I feel like I’m not being backed up (they feel
the same as me where my sister is concerned) and I get labelled as the troublemaker just for being honest.

I just don’t feel worthy and have lost all
confidence in everything I do and am a shadow of my former self. I also suffer with Health Anxiety which doesn’t help.

Any tips on how I can get the old
me back? There’s a lot to unravel but hoping for some pointers or at least to hear some similar experiences and how you managed to get yourself back together.

How about a new hobby for the new year? Something different to energise you and you get to meet new people? I’m a big fan of joining clubs and evening classes that sort of thing. You sound like you have a full life already but just something different might be fun.

I know the feeling of dissatisfaction and it’s blighted my life. But I’m going swimming tonight for a change of scenery.

im sure people will have better advice but that is what I’ve got!

Maybe you are too enmeshed with your siblings and you would feel better if you stepped back a bit and focussed on your life with your partner?

Its not clear from your post if the fact that you don’t have children is a major source of unhappiness but, if so, then is it definitely too late to pursue that?

Also, maybe some therapy to deal with the underlying issues as you don’t feel that anyone is there for you?

At 42 you are old enough and wise enough to let them get on with it and build your own life. I don't mean full NC but don't get drawn into other people's dramas.

The family part resonated with me -
slightly different but nonetheless I have taken a step back from being ‘sounding boards’ / ‘trauma dumping ‘ sessions from family members - in the past I have got too emotionally invested and it drains me .
Equally , I don’t share my problems with them either anymore (find other outlets )
Hobbies or voluntary work is a great idea . I work in a homeless hub and it is lovely to meet others and genuinely make a difference to those with real problems (not first world ones )