Severe anxiety, rumination and ocd

[Imscared2]

It’s taken me so long to address this but I have suffered ocd for many years . I won’t go into any details but it involves a lot of rumination and then problem solving but then I go back and start all over again. I’m going through an awful patch right now and I’m not coping .
I think I might need medication but I don’t even know which ones to start with and I’m afraid they’ll be horrendous at the start and I can’t feel worse or cope with feeling worse . I always hear they are bad at the start .I’m not sure what’s triggered this but I’m having some panic attacks and I’m so scared . I know I need medication but I feel almost too afraid to ask . Please help me as I’ve booked in gp and I need support. I have tried cbt and some exposure therapy but it just isn’t enough. Please someone who has experience of medication like ssri reassure me abs encourage me to take the leap.

Bump

Bumping for you, hope you get some good advice

Not all SSRIs will make you worse at the beginning. Citalapram was horrendous for me and I couldn’t continue, but then I tried fluoxetine and didn’t have any side effects what’s so ever. You just need to know it’s not permanent, and try a different one if it’s not right for you.

I’m a advocate of therapy and medication combined

I think it could really support you

not all have horrendous side affects at first - I’ve tried about 5 different ones and only 1 gave horrendous side affects and it got changed immediately

sending you love. I’m also in a collapse - awful as this time of year - mine is uncontained grief - just too much loss

I've had a lot of this in my life. Found CBT rubbish as only made me focus on worry more. Anti ds worked for a while and if you're suicidal or cannot function at all they can be a good crutch to get you through the worst.

However they don't address any underlying issues so not great if taken in isolation and they can be bumpy to go on and then come off. You need quality talking therapy, I'd really recommend EMDR as a way of processing and reprogramming your thoughts, it's helping me a lot.

So sorry you're going through this... It's hard as when you need help most it's hardest to work out what to do. Tell your friends and family you're struggling, there's no shame. Realise that this is an illness and it you get treatment it will pass x

Big hugs. OCD is such a difficult condition to live with.
Have you ever considered whether you are ND? My DD has OCD too but hers is very much a part of how the anxiety in her autism shows..I don't know a lot about this but I think some kinds of therapy are less effective if you are also autistic.
I know you can be ND without OCD and have OCD without being ND, but they do often go together.

Thank you so much for your kind words . They mean a lot. I’m at the stage where I really need to take something. I feel this really strongly, I’m exhausted and just constantly anxious. It’s horrendous. Anything I read about ssris sounds like they could make everything a lot worse at the start but then start working. But some people mention weeks of side affects before they actually work

the bit that’s true is that they take weeks to months to work however some people report feeling better in a few weeks

however I think for OCD it could be different

don’t be put off by potential side effects - you will never know - surely side effects for a little while with and end in sight would be better than how your feeling now - bad with no end in sight