Therapy. I need it in multiple forms. How did you find yours?

[Mistymeg]

I’ve tried counselling and such many times over the years, from a young age. I had a bad childhood.

In short, nothing has been successful and it’s put me off. I tried CBT when I was at school, I had a private therapist I spoke to weekly when I was 21, I don’t remember not finding it uselful but I don’t remember it helping. Didn’t like bringing it all up again and I remember feeling she was surprised which made it worse.

I then went via the NHS in my late 20s which was awful, useless, made me feel worse.

I vowed to not go through it again. I tried an online ‘better health’ therapist last year and I found it a waste of time for the money I paid.

somehow I want to be in person, I just don’t know how realistic that is.

i keep seeing people post about therapy.
where did you find them
how many did you try
was it online or in person, what’s you view on this

i need a psychiatrist or therapist for myself and would like to ask about marriage counselling too.

Work on yourself first. I have an online Psycologist that has worked well she’s phenomenal. I can DM you her details but she is around £110 an hour, you prob don’t need counselling or talk therapy as such, I had a lot of that and yes I did sound off but it got me no where on so much.

there is an App called Ash an AI Psycologist that could be initially useful BUT huge caveat as I have a Psycologist I know I’m using a human to bounce off what I’m learning.

Maybe we can’t DM anymore?

What, precisely, do you want to change for yourself?

somehow I want to be in person, I just don’t know how realistic that is.
It depends on where you live. I'm in a small city, there are maybe five good therapists here. Big cities will be more, towns will likely need you to travel.

I keep seeing people post about therapy. where did you find them how many did you try was it online or in person, what’s you view on this.

I had three therapists, the first was allocated to me at university, she was a trainee, the second I found myself, he was a very senior therapist and trained other therapists, but he was absolutely awful. The third was recommended by my wife's therapists. My best advice would be to get a recommendation from another therapist if you can. They know who's good.

I need a psychiatrist or therapist for myself

Sounds like you need to know what you need first. A psychiatrist is for diagnosis and medication. They can do therapy, but you'll pay over the odds and their training isn't as good as an actual therapist. If you want long-lasting, meaningful change, then it is therapy you need, and if you can't find someone to give a recommendation, try here

https://www.bpc.org.uk/information-support/find-a-therapist-or-clinic/

Do not touch AI therapists with a barge pole. Just Google about them. Terrifying.

What issues do you want to sort?

Having tried short courses of 6 counselling sessions that my employer provided that didn't scratch the surface I just reached a place in my life when I was ready to pay for a psychotherapist and took the plunge, £55 a week, every week initially, then I went fortnightly for about 18 months. I made huge gains. Selecting mine was easy as she was the only one offering a Saturday morning slot as all the others were office hours only which clashes with my work.

@Weyoun14have you looked into ASH? It has brilliant reviews even from human therapists. I know the stuff online about AI therapy but you’ll find it’s not about ASH.

I have sort of the same story as you. Tried loads of therapists which didn’t touch the sides of my issues. I am currently paying privately for an EMDR therapist and she is amazing.
My trauma is from childhood which hasn’t left me so it does bring back previous trauma but I am finding it so worth it.
i hope you find the help you need.

There are charities that offer discounted therapy.

If you think you need a MH diagnosis and you are not sure what type of other therapy you need, then a psychiatric assessment might be appropriate, otherwise you don’t really need a psychiatrist.

Hi OP, I'm replying as a therapist. You can search on Counselling Directory for a list of local therapists who are suitably qualified and registered. Finding somebody in person should be possible in most areas. Being in person or online is personal preference and I would suggest you look for whichever option you think you will find most valuable.

You might find this overview of different types of therapy helpful. You can look for any that appeal to you and what you would like to achieve and then search for a therapist practicing in that way. www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/

Unfortunately many people don't find the nhs services meet their needs and again unfortunately better help do not have a good reputation overall with the quality of therapy they provide.

Most therapists will provide a free initial call for you to ask any questions and get a feel for them. Finding somebody that you gel with and feel comfortable speaking with is really important.

Good luck with the process.

I work in mental health and have also had private psychotherapy OP so will answer your question from both perspectives.
Firstly, I agree that CBT ‘brief intervention’ type input is not helpful for more complex or longstanding issues. For that type of scenario longer duration of therapy from an experienced therapist is often required.
This type of therapy isn’t readily available on the NHS for most people, and so yes, you will probably require privately sourced input.
I do believe that to a large extent you do get what you pay for with regards therapy. So look to find a properly trained and experienced therapist, a Clinical Psychologist or Masters level qualified Psychotherapist. There are some great ‘counsellors’ out there but anyone can call themself a counselor or have an entry level type qualification, its highly unlikely they will have the knowledge and experience you require.
You can find therapists on the BACP website

https://www.bacp.co.uk/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=brand_BACP_directory&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=14852386482&gbraid=0AAAAAoLPPY_jflYJOnwLx1TUM3NKbQfH5&gclid=EAIaIQobChMInubth_nWkQMV6JFQBh33PTTTEAAYASAAEgL1-PD_BwE

and can filter by qualifications, therapeutic approaches, whether they do face to face, distance from home etc.
My second point is maybe have a read on different types of therapy ( different therapies have different theoretical backgrounds which inform how the therapist will try to understand and help you understand your difficulties.
For example I wanted a therapist trained in transactional analysis as having read about it it made so much sense to be and I felt it was an approach I could really work with. Doing a bit of research upfront is likely to increase your chance of success.
Lastly, and I am sure you already know this, but therapy is a process of guided personal growth , it takes time and courage as for things to change you will have to first make changes which don’t feel easy or comfortable. This is why it can be a time consuming process. Good luck!

It sounds like therapy hasn’t helped you and you’ve had quite a bit -
maybe you don’t need therapy ?

if u can identify what your focus for therapy is -
you have a better chance of getting the right intervention -

diagnosis / medication - psychiatry
childhood trauma / attachment / relationships issues - psychodynamic
anxiety disorder / depression - CBT
CPTSD / PTSD - that requires re-process of trauma memories - EMDR or CBT
intimate relationship issues - relate
a place to be heard / supported - counselling
loneliness / traumatic grief / relationship disputes - interpersonal psychotherapy ..

then there are layers of experience / ability or not to work with co-morbidity, complexity-

CPTSD / PTSD - that requires re-process of trauma memories - EMDR or CBT

No, it doesn't.

What a wildly inaccurate list.

If your therapist can't cope with complexity or comorbidity, they're no different from a computer doing CBT. Stay clear.

The right kind of therapy depends on your personality and what you believe your difficulties are.

The Essence Training.

Only thing that got to the bottom of it.

Most so-called therapists haven't done their own,

Yes it does
CBT - narrative exposure therapy - is for processing trauma memories
and EMDR is specifically for trauma memories but has been adapted for other disorders

I was having some bereavement counselling which was good but longer term issues were coming up. I googled types of therapy a lot and decided on integrative therapy. I was hoping for some body focused work in some form as well but my therapist never initiated this and I trusted her instincts. I asked around and contacted a local group practice. I had an initial assessment and that therapist offered to take me on. I saw her for 4.5 years. It has made a truly enormous difference to my life. Tbh I also found yoga and massage made a difference. Yoga used to make me cry very reliably in an odd way.

What are you trying to change OP? How you feel about yourself, relationships with others, mood? How you react?

Or remedial hypnosis which understands memories are formed at the time of the trauma and reliving them is neither accurate or helpful, and can actively put people off seeking help for trauma/PTSD/c-PTSD.

I am sure that will be helpful for some -
however it’s probably a good idea to consider the evidence based treatments first

Absolutely. Like this – https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39908116/

Or this – https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1330238/full

Or perhaps this – https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00029157.2025.2459173

This is why the Internet is so dangerous.
Frontiers is a (mostly) sham journal. They were caught earlier this year accepting articles with AI generated images instead of actual research images.
Equally, it's not a surprise that the journal of hypnotism (or whatever) publishes papers saying hypnotism is good.

NICE has a list of ALL research they consider for their guidance, even if they do choose to recommend a treatment. It can be especially useful if you're interested, as they have professionally read and reviews all submitted evidence and explains why they were used or not. They explain sample size, or evidence of bias, so if there's no hypnosis evidence listed there, there really isn't any, and if there is, they'll tell you why they discounted it.
You do have to download a massive spreadsheet though.