Intrusive thoughts

[AMB22]

Looking for help and support.

Trigger warning.

This year has been a very difficult year for me. Lots of lows and stress, miscarriages, lack of family support ect. I live with my husband and 5 year old. Since September I have been suffering with anxiety, panic attacks. Went to gp who gave me propranolol. Since this I have just massively spiralled to the point where I am struggling daily. I have been off work 3 weeks and now have another 2 weeks off for Christmas which I don't think is helping. This past two weeks has been hell. I keep getting horrible thoughts about hurting myself really graphic and random. That bad I can't even type it . Dr gave me sertraline but I didn't like it so they gave me duloxetine on day 2 but feel worse. I also have 3 days worth of diazapam. I feel like I'm losing the plot and going to end up in an institution, I'm backing away from friends and family ect.

I keep googling and using chatgpt for reassurance. I honestly think ... what if I acted on it? Ect. They seem to be getting worse not better

I think the nature of intrusive thoughts are that they are things you would never do and that's why they're so distressing. The right medication can really help particularly anti psychotics off label

Hello! You’re me and I am you.

I fully get this as someone with harm OCD (towards myself and others, important others). Thoughts so incredibly bad and distressing that I couldn’t even be near my DD through fear of what I thought I was going to, and more scary - what I felt that I WANTED to do.

I know it’s hard but remember: thoughts are not wanted actions, they’re just thoughts! YOU are in control of your actions, not them.

Whenever it happens, just try to sit with the anxiety and discomfort of them. I know it sounds bloody impossible, believe me I get it, but the more you react to them the longer they will hang around in your head..!

When it pops up (and I know it’s 24/7), deep breaths and remind yourself ‘oh that’s an interesting thought, it could happen, it could not, I’ll deal with whatever and I will cope’ and go about your day. Sounds stupid when the thoughts are most likely completely heinous (remember, I am you, been there) but it helps to neutralise the anxiety around the thoughts.

Also remember, any urges that you might feel alongside the intrusive thoughts (for example any sensations linked to it) are also just part of the intrusive thought.

Medication and therapy are a combo that I recommend. Feel free to message me if you need to. Don’t feel alone in this, you’re in control and your anxiety has your ENTIRE imagination to play with. You’re in control, just ride the discomfort.

And try to stop seeking reassurance to validate that you won’t act on the thoughts. That’s a sticking plaster of the highest order - become comfortable with reminding yourself that you are in control, you don’t need reassurance, your bad thoughts are not wanted actions.

xxx

PP has covered much of what I wanted to say. My DD is on sertraline it was awful when she first went on it and took a few weeks to work so keep going.

i can only go by what she tells me, but she says it’s worse at night and that the voices are so compelling. It’s so difficult to ignore. She has a dog who sleeps with her when she hears the voices she looks at her dog if she’s still asleep she knows it’s all in her head and not real. This helps her to rationalise it and try and distract herself. There are still nights she comes in to me to help her, but it’s getting easier. Is there someone with you who you can have confirm it’s not real that really is the first step.

@AmusedOpalShaker I'm having a bit of a setback with my OCD/intrusive thoughts presently and I've just read your post on here and it's a great reminder. Thank you. X

OP I experienced the same - intrusive thoughts that is around July last year and was off work for close to four months. I was also prescribed propanol initially and then sertraline. Sertraline gave me such a rocky ride the first 4-6 weeks and I felt awful. I was fortunate that one of my friends was in the same position ( fortunate that we were able to hold each other’s hands through it) as those side effects were no joke, then it all just started working and I feel so much better. Give sertraline another shot and just stick with it, sleep it through and it does get better. I empathise, hope you feel better soon. I also feel as if I was nearly on the brink of being sectioned so I felt I had no choice but to stick it out with the sertraline and I’m happy I did. Wishing you all the best.

You are so welcome! Oh I feel all helpful and lovely now, after having a crappy day myself!

I hope things start to improve soon for you xx