Severe anxiety or health anxiety?

[egdehsdrawkcab]

I have had increasing anxiety for years… has slowly built since Covid, when I was on Citalopram for stress related anxiety (f/t job, homeschool, despair, ill parents, despair)!

I’ve been happily off it for 2.5 years but since I hit 40 last year, and perhaps its perimenopause related, I have been increasingly anxious about many, and most things. I get particularly anxious about:

• driving (especially if I’m not driving). Can’t stand my husband driving. I constantly picture us crashing. He’s not a bad driver, more assertive than me, but not unsafe at all. Still, i find being a passenger unbearable. Same applies in taxis.
• kids doing their sports. Admittedly they don’t play the safest sports (daughter horse rides and has started jumping) and son races on road bikes, but I cannot stand watching their competitions because I feel physically ill. I catostrophise hugely. I cannot help but assume the worst is going to happen to them
• flying is awful
• kids 10 mins late home - something bad has happened
• can’t get hold of husband - something bad has happened
• son has asthma, we live in a city, we are setting him up for lung problems
• work - weirdly I care a lot less than I used to, but always feel I’m about to be fired (I’m actually very good at my job with consistent good feedback)
• all the stuff we know to avoid but… urgh. Ultra processed foods, screen time, Teflon, chemicals, sugar... I’ve failed my kids.

My mind just goes to the worst place, always and instantly. It’s like a huge cloud above me, and thunderstorms in the actual moment (e.g. the sports/the drive). I can’t get excited about anything anymore because of all the bad stuff that might happen (we have holiday booked to Thailand but - conflict/danger, the chance to go skiing, but, scary driving/injury risk).

Is this in any way normal? Is it peri? What can I do? I’ve started taking magnesium - heard it can help. I’ve tried to book an appointment with my GP but can’t get in for weeks.

Thanks for any advice.

“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
― Mark Twain

This quote sprang to mind when I read your post. Our imagination is both a blessing and a curse – unlike the rational part of your thinking, it has no limits and no filter so once it's triggered it can take you anywhere.

It is possible to learn how to take back control and/or to switch from thinking the worst to imaging the best (although bear in mind we are designed to think on the negative side as it keeps us safe). Can you remember a time when you were not anxious?

I wasn’t this anxious prior to having kids. But I was still quite anxious - actually quite a lot on honeymoon now that I think of it (unknown places/perceived danger etc)

DD had an accident when she was very small (I had a fall with her), that led to her in hospital being monitored for 3 days. It was awful and the accident (and guilt) has never left me. Perhaps that has caused more trauma and more lasting effect than I have realised.

I just want to be able to not feel crippled by it.

I hear you. I too have anxiety. I could have written your post, except for the kids doing sport, mines around them driving.

That's not unreasonable. It may be that you learnt to be cautious about unknown situations from a parent or other significant adult when you were growing up. Plus the incident with your daughter has, as you say, stayed with you simply due to the random nature of the accident.

Anxiety/trauma responds very well to hypnotherapy/remedial hypnosis and EMDR – all of which deal with the subconscious mind. Lots of (hopefully!) useful info on my AMA.

Actually really interested in EMDR - my brother has used with huge success. Thanks.

What magnesium are you taking? Just to warn you, the triple magnesium can actually make anxiety worse. I was taking it to help with sleep but it gave me huge waves of adrenaline out of nowhere. Seems to have gone away again since I stopped. Googled and it seems to be a recognised side effect

Oh dear. The glycinate, just 200mg at the moment. 400mg played havoc with my stomach!