I am in crisis | Mumsnet

Trying2StaySane · 2025-12-14T09:12:32+00:00

47 yr old Mum signed off work long term sick leave. Have tried 7 different antidepressants. Finally thought one worked. It isn't. Just can't function any more. Relationship with husband breaking down. Hate myself. Letting everyone down. Just want to hide in bed. Has anyone had any similar experiences. Feel so alone. Thank you

floralandfresh · 14/12/2025 09:32

Didn’t want to read and run. Hope you’re ok. Have you got some support / someone to talk to who can support you getting some help?

I’ve been in that boat where I have felt I cannot do it anymore so I totally empathise. Things can and will get better.

Soozikinzii · 14/12/2025 09:41

My DH has depression so I do know a few bits without having experienced it myself . You can self refer for CBT talking therapy which he found helpful . He is on sertraline probably will be permanently . You have to find the one that suits you . Dont be hard on yourself its a medical condition like any other .

IsSheorIsntShe · 14/12/2025 10:17

Are you in the early days or weeks of a new AD? If so, could it be the 'gets worse before it gets better' stage?

Original poster

Trying2StaySane · 14/12/2025 10:51

floralandfresh - thanks for your message. I have a physciatrist and consellor. But the road has been so long I have kinda given up. My sister tries to support. My husband has given up. We had marriage counselling for the first time on Friday and I was really hurt by the things he said. I have killed my self that past 15 years with IVFs, misscarriages, working hard as main breakwinner to save for a house we finally have. I know I should be thankful not depressed and full of self pity. I just feel I have nothing left and there is no gratitude or empathy left. In truth I feel very alone. I have high standards and have always tried to do my best but now I give up. Going on mental health leave from work operating at a high level has been humiliating and I have nothing left. Sorry I know I sound like a am full of self pity.

Soozikinzii - thanks for your message. Your DH is lucky to have you. I am glad Strethaline worked for him. I have been on prozac which worked for many years. Then I got the coil in and it is stopped. I don't know if it was perimenopause or something else. I have also been on Mirtazapine Venlablue Lexapro Strethaline Lithium& Lofepramine over the past 3 years. I finally thought Lofepramine was working but dont think it is now which is devastating.

IsSheorIsntShe - great questions thank you. I changed to Lofepramine in Oct and moved to max dose about a month agao. I thought it was working so it is decvastating that it isnt a magic bullet like prozac was for me. I am exhausted from trying medications. I know ADs are just part of solution. I did start going to the gym etc but feel like I can do nothing now. I have given everything to my family which I feel has been thankless and even though my husband comes to my physiatrist appointments he is tired of the whole thing, not really coping himself and doesnt really understand it is an illness

OP posts:

floralandfresh · 14/12/2025 11:04

Trying2StaySane · 14/12/2025 10:51

floralandfresh - thanks for your message. I have a physciatrist and consellor. But the road has been so long I have kinda given up. My sister tries to support. My husband has given up. We had marriage counselling for the first time on Friday and I was really hurt by the things he said. I have killed my self that past 15 years with IVFs, misscarriages, working hard as main breakwinner to save for a house we finally have. I know I should be thankful not depressed and full of self pity. I just feel I have nothing left and there is no gratitude or empathy left. In truth I feel very alone. I have high standards and have always tried to do my best but now I give up. Going on mental health leave from work operating at a high level has been humiliating and I have nothing left. Sorry I know I sound like a am full of self pity.

Soozikinzii - thanks for your message. Your DH is lucky to have you. I am glad Strethaline worked for him. I have been on prozac which worked for many years. Then I got the coil in and it is stopped. I don't know if it was perimenopause or something else. I have also been on Mirtazapine Venlablue Lexapro Strethaline Lithium& Lofepramine over the past 3 years. I finally thought Lofepramine was working but dont think it is now which is devastating.

IsSheorIsntShe - great questions thank you. I changed to Lofepramine in Oct and moved to max dose about a month agao. I thought it was working so it is decvastating that it isnt a magic bullet like prozac was for me. I am exhausted from trying medications. I know ADs are just part of solution. I did start going to the gym etc but feel like I can do nothing now. I have given everything to my family which I feel has been thankless and even though my husband comes to my physiatrist appointments he is tired of the whole thing, not really coping himself and doesnt really understand it is an illness

I was on sertraline for years and for me, it was magic how it improved things for me. I ended up coming off it as my memory was being affected so tried another one and it just hasn’t had the same effect. Hopefully you can get some support and investigation into another one that may suit you. It’s bloody horrible struggling like you are so make sure you go easy on yourself.

dont worry about work for a moment though - sounds like you need the break from work. Don’t worry about it being humiliating - I totally understand you feel humiliated but other people at work won’t be thinking in that way.

I really hope things get better for you.

I have horrific anxiety and it’s all consuming for me sometimes and it impacts my husband. Ultimately he supports me but sometimes it gets a bit much for him too and he can’t cope with it.

Original poster

Trying2StaySane · 14/12/2025 12:01

Floralandfresh thanks so much for your encouraging message. Glad you found relief strethaline. I know what you mean on execution function & memory impacts. It has honestly been going on so long and tried so many things I don't have anything left

OP posts:

CabernetAndCocoMelon · 14/12/2025 12:03

I felt like this for a while OP and get getting palmed off with antidepressants which didn’t help. I actually got diagnosed with adhd & autism and it changed everything and got me back on track.

I can’t offer much advice but your not alone and things will get easier xxx