I’m a 35 y/o mum of two (8 & 4). I have a supportive husband and a job I love. We own a house and my mum is relatively close by, a wonderful nanny! Neither me or OH get much time to do anything for ourselves or make time for interests. I don’t really know what I would do anyway.
My two boys are lovely but exhausting. The eldest in particular is difficult for various reasons and most days after school is frustrated and angry. He goes to a few clubs although struggles to form friendships. Our youngest is a social butterfly and loves school, loves life really. I’m finding the dark evenings and weekends hard, lack of motivation and not really knowing what to do with them? We have two dogs but by the time we’ve settled at home after school it’s too dark to go to the park.
For a few years now I’ve had experiences with anxiety and depression, stemming from when I had my first son. Generally I’m well and manage well, although recently had to increase sertraline to 100mg as I was feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. I was also becoming more stressed when we were deciding whether or not to have another baby, we then did fall pregnant accidentally and decided to terminate, which surprisingly I didn’t find too difficult.
I guess the reason why I’m posting is because I just don’t feel ‘content’ or like my life really is doing much. I feel like I should be eternally grateful for what I have and relish in spending time with my family but in all honestly I don’t really enjoy it? Is that strange? The idea of Christmas break is filling me with dread. Being indoors constantly with the boys and my husband, like is this it? It just doesn’t feel good and I’m worried that I’ve chosen a life that I actually want to escape. But when I actually think about it, how else would I choose to live.
answers on a postcard please!