Falling apart now?!

[morechaimama]

Four years ago I insisted that my abusive husband move out of our home, and since then I've divorced him, sold our house and moved to a new one with the DC (who I have 75% of the time and do all of the parenting for), they have started a new school where they are thriving.

XH is still abusive which I ignore as much as possible (so as not to feed the monster), and I've just been battling on, feeling and looking very tense.

Three weeks ago something particular upset me and since then I have cried most days, I'm waking up in tears and generally feeling very fragile.

Is this grief do you think? I'm on low dose anti-depressants to help me cope and I can't increase the dose, and actually it's good to feel...something...even if it is tough.

I'm just not sure why now, when I think (and hope) that the worst of things is behind us? Has anyone else had similar? TIA.

It could be that your mind and body have reached their limit of battling on and are telling you, as clearly as they can, that you need help. That might be time off work, meds, therapy or counselling or just the famous MN bath (!) but please don't ignore the flashing warning lights of distress.

Yes they say the body keeps the score so it may be triggering the physiological reaction.

I think with any shock it's good to remove the immediate danger and give yourself a couple of weeks of feeling safe and nurtured, remove anything that adds anxiety or stress and fill it in with calming things to help you re-regulate.

If it's still feeling as bad after a few weeks then maybe therapy? It may be that you still have unprocessed memories so something like EMDR can be really helpful.

Thanks both of you...it's just so strange feeling that things should be getting easier but somehow I feel worse! I've had a look at the Women's Aid website and it says this isn't unusual...so I'll just have to ride it out I guess, taking on some of your self-care suggestions in the meanwhile. Thanks again.