SA

[thisisajoke22]

I'm not really sure where to post this so here we go.
So from the age of ?? until I was 10 (when I got my period) I was SA by my father.
Close friends know and so does my husband.
I've been NC with my father since 2019 as I sent him a text telling him I remembered the SA and that he disgusts me. He mostly got the message as he used to leave Christmas and birthday cards with my mum to give to me. Obviously they'd go in the bin and any presents were donated.
I count my stepdad as my dad as he's been in my life for 30 years and is truly amazing.
I became a mum in 2022 and then in 2024 a member of DH family was convicted of CP. This caused my MH to absolutely plummet as it dredged up everything so I referred myself to Talking Therapies. I'm now 13 weeks into therapy and I've found it so beneficial.
I think I want to tell my mum about the SA but how the fuck do I go about this? Obviously there's no good time or place but does anyone have any advice? Or been through similar?
I have a little boy and the thought of him going through anything traumatic and not telling me is like a knife to the heart.
Thanks for reading.

I’m so sorry you have been through that.
Shouldn’t your therapist be able to advise you about the best way to speak to your mum while still looking after your own MH? That seems safer to me than taking advice from randoms online, however well intentioned they may be.

Oh this is super hard, what a lot to try and process. Really well done on getting the therapy. I think a lot will depend on your relationship with your mum and how she typically responds to potential criticism (because however you present it, there is, and should be, guilt on her side that she didn't protect you). You might want a neutral space but without a lot of people like a very quiet park or a walk in the woods. Or you might be more comfortable texting her saying that you've got a really difficult topic that you need to discuss with her, that it's not your health (as that will be her first thought), and is she free to come over at x time (pick a time when people are around to support you after the conversation as it's going to be gruelling). Best of luck.

Hi, thanks for your reply. Yes my therapist is going to help me navigate it, but I just wanted any real life experience from anyone. Either as the person disclosing the abuse or the one being told about it.