Having a bad day

[santos]

I just need to get this off my chest... I went back to work on Thursday and felt OK about it. Dd is nearly 6mo and going to nursery, which is not ideal but I have to work and we are happy with the way the nursery is run/the staff etc. I have also managed to cut my hours so I'm only working 4 days. Things are basically good. But today I've been crying constantly, including in the supermarket car park, and feeling like I can't do anything. Even the idea of finishing the washing and cooking some batches of food for dd this evening seems impossible. I make myself go into the kitchen then I just stand there, incapable of actually doing anything. It seems like the simplest decision, like to switch on the tumble dryer, is impossible. I've been depressed before and it kind of feels like this - I guess I want someone to tell me it's just a delayed reaction to going back to work and not the start of pnd. I've been taking the mini pill for a month too and would be interested to hear if this affects anyone's mood.

All in all I'm feeling shattered, stressed, panicky and incapable of facing work tomorrow, but equally can't face phoning in ALREADY to say I'm not coming in. Help

Oh Santos, you poor love. ((((hugs))))
I'm afraid I've no advice but I just wanted to sympathise. Has this suddenly started today? I have no clue whatsoever about PND but wouldn't it be rather a sudden onset for that? Going back to work is a big thing (one that will be facing me too when our baby is born in June, as I'm the sole earner, but am lucky in that dh will be at home and my job allows me to work from home to a certain degree) and it may well be 'just' a reaction to that - you're nervous about how dd is going to settle into nursery, weren't terribly keen on putting her in there, are wondering how you're going to cope with things - it is a lot of pressure and one reaction to pressure can be to retreat into not feeling able to do anything. Maybe dh/dp can take over some chores for a while? If you're still up, try and have a nice cup of herb tea and just 'breathe' for a bit - actively turn your back on all but the most essential chores and deliberately do nothing for a bit to see if that helps - and decide tomorrow morning (after hopefully a good night's sleep?!) whether to go in. If this does persist, though, pop down to the dr, don't struggle on in silence.
Sorry for rather amateurish advice, but I hope it helps somehow and you're feeling better soon.

So sad to hear you are feeling low Santos. It is a big change going back to work and I think it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Take care of yourself and try and take it easy tonight. You will probably feel better in a few weeks. I found it took a month or so to adjust to going back to work and havign dd in nursery.

Poor you. I think most mums dread on some level going back to work, I certainly am, its a few months away yet but still thinking about it makes me want to cry . It is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. Try not to worry too much about it, liken it to the first day back at school, you always used to dread it and usually you came back quite happy! Give it a few weeks and see how life settles down and fingers crossed it will all work out well for you. And look out for my post in a few months saying exactly the same thing!! Hugs to you, let us know how it goes.

santos... I had to stop taking the pill because it made my depression ten times worse. (i was on microgynon btw)

Pop into your gp and tell him/her how you feel, and mention aboutt he pill... they may be able to prescribe you an alternative