Positive self talk to help situation at work

[Anotherdayattheforum]

Returned to temp work after a 10 month break. Previous bookings all very successful. Working reception in a sales environment. Usually work in customer service - very high pressure, high accountability. However, this setting feels very different and I feel really unnerved by it. Feel the company can behave on a whim. It’s triggered my insecurities. In the context I feel they could act on a whim and cancel my booking without a second thought.

Please can you give me some self-talk statements I could recite to myself to reassure myself, and calm down. As you might have guessed, I live with the anxiety of ‘not being good enough’. It’s so debilitating. I usually mask it well. Not this time.

I have done one day. I’m working independently so have had to manage situations with no-one to defer to. Therefore no-one is aware overall of the pluses of the day. There were specific instances of customer satisfaction which no one will be aware of because of my location in the office.

I made a mistake transferring a call, although the call was not lost. And not taking sufficient information of a walk in. I made sure next time to take more details.

These are reasonable errors on a first day working solo but feel so public. However, this is where my uncertainty of whether they are a company who might be unforgiving.

Thanks in advance.

Just stop and apply for other jobs? You cannot make every environment work. Just cut your losses and focus on the next one. And if your mental health is riled up by temp work, maybe just start focusing on permanent job applications. This is part and parcel of temp work.

@Firefumes very tempting to call in ‘sick’ but that will only exacerbate the situation for everyone. Once I settle back into the world of work, I’ll be back in the groove. It’s getting through this initial dip in confidence.

I hoped for statements I could recite to myself to manage the anxiety. Not let the anxiety manage me. And potentially lose out in the end.

In fact, tempting as it is to call in sick, it doesn’t sit right with me to let people down.

That’s my first positive self talk if I told not to go back, ‘I agree it didn’t work out and wanted to withdraw but didn’t want to let the company down.’

Right, that's not terribly positive self talk as it's assuming everything's going to fuck up, and there's nothing to suggest that it will.

Some statements that might help:

I trust myself to make good decisions
I am resourceful, and can adapt when circumstances change
I am learning to be relaxed about uncertainty
I can tolerate the discomfort of not yet knowing the ropes
I take steps to soothe myself when I am anxious
Mistakes are a normal part of learning that happen to everyone
Work is a transaction, not an appraisal of my worth as a person

Are you on meds, OP? Do you have any other mental health support? I suspect you might find life massively easier with a low dose of SSRIs.

No one said call in sick though? Where have you got that from?

My point was, you should apply for other jobs and stop investing effort in a workplace that doesn’t really want you there.

It's also worth bearing in mind that people are soooooooo used to calls being dropped or mis-transferred - it happens all the time. Nobody will think anything of it.

Also - people will be super pleased to get through to a human being and not voicemail or an automated menu of options. You're already winning simply by virtue of having a pulse and a brain!

If you're used to working in a busy environment and it feels exposing to be on your own, consider that your anxiety is a response to your physical environment and feeling alone and/or overly perceived and self-conscious. This is something people commonly find difficult.

Maybe in your next temp job you can look for a placement in or alongside a team. We can't all thrive in every environment.

Hang in there.

@VoltaireMittyDream thank you so much. Just digesting your posts and already feel so much better.

@Firefumes ‘just stop’ - not dead stop though I suspect. 🤭 I think your comment meant ‘just stop … temp work.’

Just bumping for the night rush in case any of you lovely MNetters could add to the ‘keep calm and carry on’ list of positive self talk please. Suggestions so far have been great and MN at its best.

Thanks again all.

Just coming back to update. All is going well. I’m doing the best I can and that is reassuring to me.

@VoltaireMittyDream mentioned a low dose of SSRIs. It was a suggestion I mulled over. However, I realise I have something much more effective, the option of posting on MN and receiving great advice. The posts made a significant difference. My sincere thanks.

I am looking into ‘acceptance and commitment therapy’. It appeals because I have reached fatigue point of trying to ‘change’. Instead accepting this is me. The change - being compassionate about my limitations and building on the strengths I demonstrate in this context. It feels a relief. I applied the principles so far in this role and feel so much better for it. Particularly in the context that I could have capitulated to the anxiety. A win win!