Advice - how to not care

[LikeDaisies]

Please please share your advice on how to not care if you fall out with someone/what people think of you?

I’m desperate. The obsession is making me so ill.

I am getting help. I just need other people’s coping strategies to explore.

You can't change what other people think. Not caring isn't a solution, though.

What matters firstly is taking care of yourself and your own sense of self-worth. And you can do things which make you feel good about yourself. I would do things which taught me physical confidence, like sports or dancing classes, even long country hikes (and borrow a dog for more fun). Also things which stop you obsessing and looking inwards too much, - look outwards and do stuff like volunteer work, e.g. helping in a charity shop, or visiting lonely older people, doing errands for them, - you'll feel rewarded by helping others and also get a sense of community.

When you're more grounded in yourself, then you will more likely have the confidence to restore broken relationships.

It's natural to care what others think or say about you but the important thing is to learn that their opinions do not control or define who you are. If someone is ignoring you or saying hurtful things that reflects more on them as a person rather than it does on you.

The first thing to ask yourself is "Is this person someone important in my life?"

If the answer is YES then try to resolve and address the issue. Ask them why they are saying/doing such things (but be prepared for them to deny it or push the blame back onto you).

If the answer is NO then you need to consider letting go of the relationship if it's causing you such pain.

Try writing down your feelings and think how many of those negative feelings could be eliminated if you cut contact with the person/people involved.

Sometimes, due to family or work, we can't always cut someone totally out of our lives but we can usually find a way to back away and minimise contact. Block them online and try to keep away from family or social situations where they might be.

Sadly some people are naturally toxic and they seem to feed off the upset and hurt they cause others. As the PP said, you need to focus on your own self worth.

Good Luck OP.

Working on your own self esteem/self worth.

If you think you’re okay, you like yourself and you are positive about yourself it honestly won’t matter what others think because it’s what you think that is important.

I tell myself everyday that I love and accept myself just as I am 🤷‍♀️