Posting for similar experiences. I had an abortion 20 years ago when I was 17. I’ve since had another child who is now 13 and then struggled with secondary infertility.
I have never had any doubts that the abortion was the right thing to do at the time. I was in a very unstable relationship with a man who I can now see was abusive, I went down a bit of a bad path as a teen and would have been in no position to raise a child.
I went on to meet a great man who I am now married to and have a lovely teenage DS, we are very happy.
But for some reason as time has gone on my feelings of sadness over the abortion have started and gotten worse. I imagine the sibling my DS would have had, as he grows and becomes his own person, I wonder who my other child would have been.
I realise it’s a pointless feeling and that I should be happy with what I do have. My life would likely have been very different if I had kept the pregnancy when I was 17, and probably for the worse.
Sometimes I think I deserve to have this feeling hanging over me because of what I did those years ago. Not really sure what i am looking for, maybe just someone who has felt similar, how did you over come the feelings or come to accept them. Not everyone in my life knows about the abortion so I don’t have many people I can speak to IRL. Thank you