Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Husband

5 replies

Kl86 · 13/11/2025 15:11

Husband is struggling, he has some sick days off work and is upset there is no support or compassionate leave when you have a child with health issues. Baby had a small heart op to buy time for a bigger one few months later. We've been in hospital 2 weeks. Also he got a speeding fine day baby was born.

Every small thing is upsetting him, I have been in hospital for the last 2 weeks with our 2 month old and we have a 3 year old. He has been driving an hour everyday to us and back, taking her to preschool first although at times he brought her with him.

He had a speeding fine for doing 60 on a motorway which was 50 due to roadworks, hours after baby was born . The night before I had a balloon induction and we didn't get any sleep, we were up all night during labour the following day, baby was born 4am and had to go to intensive care for monitoring then me and her stayed in hospital a week.He drove home that day at 10pm. In hindsight maybe he should've booked a hotel room. I can't remember if there might have been a reason he went home, possibly for 3 year old at grandmother's.

I told him to appeal the fine but he says it's a waste of time to go to court. I don't expect much from work and governments but he is struggling with lack of support. Maybe he's stressed as he can't mentally go to work right now and it's all too much to juggle and cope.

Any advice and do u reccomend any threads to add this to. Many thanks

OP posts:
OhRight7 · 13/11/2025 16:42

This is so overwhelming for you both, so much is going on. Is it possible for him to get his GP to sign him off due to stress, so he has some time to focus on your family and not be pulled in all different directions at once? It’s only a temporary solution but it could be enough to prevent a breaking point, sounds like he’s heading for burnout.
I hope things improve for your family soon x

Eyesopenwideawake · 13/11/2025 17:26

What help can both sides of the family offer? Don't be afraid to call on them, and good friends, to give practical and emotional support. Can he take a leave of absence from work?

Forget about the speeding fine, it's not important (unless there's some bigger picture).

Kl86 · 13/11/2025 20:10

OhRight7 · 13/11/2025 16:42

This is so overwhelming for you both, so much is going on. Is it possible for him to get his GP to sign him off due to stress, so he has some time to focus on your family and not be pulled in all different directions at once? It’s only a temporary solution but it could be enough to prevent a breaking point, sounds like he’s heading for burnout.
I hope things improve for your family soon x

Thank you. He has been signed off, maybe that will help him

OP posts:
Jenkibuble · 14/11/2025 16:33

It is great that you are so supportive x

It is great that he isnt covering it up too. Does his workplace have an employee assistance support sscheme - may be worth seeing if he can get some sessions from there . I have done in the past and quite good.

My brother successfully appealed a speeding fine as he would have got a ban BUT it cost him a lot £ (he had a lot to risk - access to his kids / his business etc )

Deffo see what support network can help you with during this difficult time (people can be amazing when they know they are needed )

Take care of you as well x

Kl86 · 14/11/2025 21:12

Jenkibuble · 14/11/2025 16:33

It is great that you are so supportive x

It is great that he isnt covering it up too. Does his workplace have an employee assistance support sscheme - may be worth seeing if he can get some sessions from there . I have done in the past and quite good.

My brother successfully appealed a speeding fine as he would have got a ban BUT it cost him a lot £ (he had a lot to risk - access to his kids / his business etc )

Deffo see what support network can help you with during this difficult time (people can be amazing when they know they are needed )

Take care of you as well x

Edited

Thank you x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page