How’s everyone handling life these days?

[Applecake99]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but it seemed like the most fitting topic.

Since having my son, he’s 16 months old now , I’ve found that I no longer have the time or energy to reach out to people like I used to. And now I’ve realized that all my friends have just disappeared.

To give a bit of context, I was always the one putting in the effort to keep friendships alive. I reached out, planned things, checked in but once I couldn’t do that anymore, it feels like everyone just forgot about me. I understand that we’re all busy, but it still doesn’t feel right.

The only person who kept in touch was a friend who was about to have her first baby. But even then, she mostly messaged me to ask for advice, never really asking how I was or showing interest in my son or my life. I tried to be understanding I had a difficult pregnancy myself but after a while, I started replying more briefly, and I guess she noticed I was being distant, because she eventually stopped texting too.

Recently, I moved to my boyfriend’s country. We live in a small town with almost nothing to do. I don’t have a driver’s license, and there’s only one bus to the city which it runs just four times a day. It’s a hassle to use it: it’s always late, I sometimes wait one or two hours, and the bus has four steep steps that I can’t manage with the stroller. A few times the driver refused to help me, and while I know I could make a fuss and demand help, I really don’t want the drama every single time.

So I end up staying home all the time with my son. I work night shifts from home, and during the day I’m with him.

Honestly, I feel miserable. Breastfeeding has become exhausting, my son just wants to feed for a minute or two, then goes off to play, and comes back again soon after. The constant pulling at my clothes is draining.

Is anyone else going through something similar? How do you deal with the constant feelings of exhaustion and loneliness?

That sounds really hard work. Where, in relation to the town you live in, does your DP work? Could you move somewhere more accessible or Learn to drive?
Do you speak the local language or are you learning it?
Are there no baby groups/activities in your area?
Is moving back an option?

I think anyone would struggle being so isolated

I can speak the language, I learned it, but somehow my neighbors are so bitter and unpleasant that sometimes I wish I didn’t speak their language at all.

One of them has a dog that barks nonstop all day, and she knows it bothers the entire street. But since there are no laws against dogs barking constantly, nobody can do anything, and I guess she enjoys that situation.

The rest of the street is just houses owned by people who only come during the summer, some from the Netherlands, a French family, and a couple from the UK.

We bought this house two years ago, so we can’t really move away now. It was stupid of me not to check the connections. I saw a bus stop with several lines, so I never thought the bus would run only four times a day and that they’d be old buses with several steps.

I work night shifts and stay with the baby all day. I’m lucky if I get five hours of sleep. Learning to drive feels impossible I can’t even concentrate enough to follow a recipe, imagine study from a book.

And as I said, in this town there’s nothing but just bitter people or empty holiday houses

People sell houses within 12-18 months of moving in all the time. It would be worth really thinking about moving for your sanity, your little one would also benefit from being able to socialise too.
If you are feeling like you are really struggling please speak to a dr, it would also be worth considering a different job, even if you have to pay childcare or work evenings when DP is home and can do childcare (waitressing/stocking shelves or whatever). You will burn out working nights and looking after a DC all day.
look after yourself