I'm a 32 year old female who has always been more or less anxious all my life. Without going too deep into this, alot of my upbringing was in church. I felt condemned to drink, date and have never been able to discuss sex,drugs, drink with my mum as she's always thought it wrong. Our relationship got stronger as I got older and since moving out years ago I have learned not to hate myself or feel under surveillance for whatever I do in my life but I still believe this to be the route.
I developed emetophobia at the age of 8 and began having little panic attacks at that age. I believed that every time I felt tense I was going to throw up. This eased off for years until I was 13 where the phobia went from 0-100 and ever since it has ruled my life. Fast forward ten years and I started getting stomach issues due to uni stress, breakups, jobs and, inevitably my stomach issues became irreversible. Ive had IBS for almost ten years now. I then came down with gallstone pancreatitis 3 years ago which had me in surgery and, in an ironic turn of events my entire digestive system is on its last legs but I never ever throw up. Its always diarrhea/bloating etc.
As a result of a huge decrease in my digestive health alongside working up to 40 hours per week, I believe my body has been presenting uncontrollable panic attacks for the first time in my life. I can just about put up with the headaches, restlessness, shakes with anxiety but recently I will be hit with the feeling like my body is being crushed, an indescribable feeling of fear, sweating, chills, shaking and, terrifyingly a feeling like I need to be sick. I never feel nauseated for longer than a couple seconds and the attacks disperse as fast as they enter. What's interesting is the last 3 times it happened were in the cinema. Me and my boyfriend love the cinema and its usually my switch off place but lately I notice its a Sensory thing where I feel so overwhelmed. I have noticed caffeine and alcohol are always in my system when I have the attacks.
2 weeks ago I drank 1 wine and had a burger late and hours later, I unsurprisingly had a bad stomach and the notion of feeling so unwell threw me into a 12hour frantic attack where my heart rate shot up so high I had to go to hospital. I spent the next 2 days with my first migraine. I do not want to touch alcohol ever again.
I'm unsure if this is my anxiety finally saying my body has had enough or if im developing panic disorder and attacks. I only recently discovered there's a difference. I have a consultation next week and have no idea how this can be fixed