Feeling of dread

[Guidanceplease20]

When I have a lot on my plate I get a feeling of dread come over me. It feels internal. Maybe a hormone drop or increase as a reaction. It makes me want to curl up and disappear.

For coping techniques i try and grab onto the thought that this too shall pass and try and think of what I have felt like in the past when Ive been OK. I also try and create an action plan for my list to help me try and see the wood from the trees.

But occassionally its more overwhelming than that and the fight seems too big or impossible as my body and mind feel like its got no resources. The last time it was this bad was in 2023. I gave my full time work up soon after as I was barely functioning.

And now its happening again.

What can I do? On the basis today i cant go out as ive my part time work to do.

(Name changed)

You say it may be hormonal? How old are you and could this be a peri menopause symptom? Im in peri menopause and feelings of dread were a symptom for me (not as extreme as yours). HRT has definitely helped this, upping progesterone in particular.

Im well past unless hormone issues continues. Not had a period in about 6 years. Im 58.

Its definitely a reaction to a whole list of stuff (some quite major) but that takes time to sort dont just happen. Its like when things are added to it I get to a place of feeling unable to cope and enter this awful place with this overwhelming feeling and inability to function normally.

Are you also a migraine sufferer? One of my indicators that one is on the way is a sense of dread, or impending doom, brought on by stress, overload etc? I don’t want to be seeming to teach you to suck eggs, but I found actually writing my thoughts down daily helped? Also keeping a food diary as , looking at it I realised that I was in no way properly nourishing myself enough to complete all the tasks life threw at me? I’m 62 by the way, and have realised that I still have a hormonal element to my life along with, what seems to be ‘seasonal migraines’ too? October/November are particularly problematic for me? I hope this is of some help?

Thanks.

I dont get migraines.

I dont write but ill try that

I dont eat properly and that does get significantly worse at times like this. Yes, the feeling started yesterday and i drank coffee, water and tea and ate 2 celebration chocolates, 2 dry poppadoms and one proper meal which was cooked for me (as i wouldnt have been functioning sufficiently to make it). Ive woken up today worse.

I feel a similar dread at the moment. I don’t really have any advice but you aren’t alone in how you feel.

@CosySeason thank you

And thanks to all the pp too.

@Guidanceplease20, I am truly so sorry for how you’re feeling, but absolutely believe you are not alone, it sounds as if you have people close looking out for you, when you referenced having someone cook for you and also people, like myself who can relate and empathise? I absolutely believe you can turn this around, not quickly admittedly, but I had absolutely no idea (as someone who has dealt and been medicated for anxiety/depression etc as well as migraines) how much of an impact not hydrating and fuelling my body properly was having? Also actually writing things down seems to give me a semblance of control and structure? Hour by hour/ day by day and onwards, good luck ❤️

Yeah my husband. Hes just gone to work.

Ive got to get up for work which i do at home.

Ok, are you up now? Do you have time for a quick stand out in the garden? Or open window? Big glass of water. Is being indoors all day making things worse?

Im not yet up. Ill get up now. I start work at 10.30 so yes I do if i get going.

Great, I have to go now, but will check in later? (sorry, mum mode activated 😂😂)

I also experience exactly what you’re going through. For me several life events coinciding have floored my nervous system and I have a permanent fear that something new is always round the corner to attack me. I seem to have no resilience left. So I get why I feel this way but it doesn’t help. Frequently jolt awake in middle of night, heart racing. During the day I try and distract myself with work, kids etc but it’s always in background.

im also through menopause but am wondering if HRT might help; ive tried just about every other med and none of them them seem to help.

Up. Having water not coffee and sat in the conservatory with window open as its raining. Im just trying to focus on that and then work.

Keep reaching out and talking to people you can trust. It’s the most helpful thing for me when I’m spiralling. Totally helps me to establish some grounding a little perspective

Yes. This is the base of my issues.

When I was like it in 2023 it was the same feeling and poor ability to function. That time, I even made my husband drive me home from holiday one day (and go back in the evening) because I had one issue feel so overwhelming and being away I felt out of control.

That time it was different issues, albeit lots one on top of the other like this time and some quite major. And yes I also feel like whats the next thing that'll attack me as Im so low on coping resources.

One advantage i think I have from that episode is that I came through it so I can try and remind myself of that.

Thanks. Im hoping i can limp through today an hour at a time and at some point if there is something my body is pumping out, itll run out and the feeling at least start to lift.

At the moment it seems to be stable (but miserable) followed by the doom suddenly washing over me again triggered by a thought.

Absolutely. Unfortunately for me one of massive triggers was divorce last year which I hoped would decrease once the source was removed but it’s just new challenges.
lean in your DH and keep talking

So thats my hour and a half morning work done. It was nice to fully focus on that.

Realised i didnt want to eat but there was some leftover takeaway in the fridge so I have and thats helped a little. Ive stayed off coffee and stuck to water. Ive brought the bins in which was a mental effort but i did it. I'm inching through the day.

Catching up on messages now. Some triggering as they are in the pile of issues but need to be done to move forward and resolve things.

One of my main base issues was Dad who i found unconscious a few months back, traumatic leaving our house, i was blue lighted with him to hospital, end of life pathway and withdrawel of treatment that day, but he woke up, eventually came through and back home to us but care was 24/7 so hes moved into a care home. Hes in the settling in period and im in the post adjustment period (as he lived with us for 2 years rapidly deterioriating). Although the choice was definitely right, you are correct like you say being post divorce - in that challenges just change.....theyve contacted me this morning asking that I buy him more clothes, respond to some medical questions, and I have been told hes not sleeping and is worried about money. His money is fine thats for me to sort. Which triggers the fact that I have to go up and start sorting the family house sale......

Thats the base issue. I didnt really grieve losing Mum 3 years ago as I went almost straight into caring for Dad who has dementia as well as other comorbitities.

Thats the base stress for me, with plenty of non related issues in addition. We have to visit my son to help him with something major later this week. Things will resolve but I do have to face them and falling to pieces wont be of any help to anyone.

@Guidanceplease20, little by little ❤️, how long before you have to go back to work? Do you have a bottle of water on your desk? I couldn’t understand the hoo-ha about drinking with a straw, but again I find I drink much more water that way? Kudos for getting the bins in the added bonus of fresh air ❤️.

So, work wise Im extremely lucky. I am only part time and self employed. I will have an hours work to do this afternoon but have to wait for my mornings work to be processed first. I may get more in but any extra can be done at any point this week.

I work from home so yes ive got water. Im dreadful for drinking coffee black, so im trying to avoid that and stick to water just in case its that which is causing me to feel hormonal

In some ways wfh is fab but you dont get that ability to chat to people about stuff. Its quite isolating in that respect.

Sorry if this is a bit too woo, but it is a full moon atm and it can affect how you feel, especially when combined with other factors, eg stress.

Sometimes coincidences happen and im drawn to the wooooo, so who knows! I believe in SAD too but as Ive always lived in a summer tourist hotspot you get an extreme version of autumn/winter as its exacerbated by the town going into partial hibernation.

I gave in after work this afternoon and had a nap. That filled the space before my husband came home.

Thanks everyone for today. Ive limped through it.

Dreadful morning so far. Woke with same feeling as yesterday. Made myself get up. Made myself eat. Headache so took some paracetemol.

Am giving myself until 11.30 to have a sit and a drink. Then I intend to do something. Inside as its tipping it down with rain.