Laziness

[Sunnylily]

I’m currently waiting for an ADHD assessment and trying to understand my patterns better.

I’ve always procrastinated. I only seem to get things done right before a deadline, and I completely freeze when I’m under pressure. I’m forgetful, lose things often, and get distracted easily by my own thoughts.

I can focus on short or interesting tasks but struggle to finish long or repetitive ones. I get mentally drained after social interactions or when there’s too much noise or multitasking. Sudden changes stress me out, and I sometimes get irritable when people talk to me while I’m working.

When things are structured or someone helps reduce my workload, I instantly feel calmer and more functional. Most of the time I feel very guilty I am not up to the mark. I feel like failure in personal life because of this

I’m wondering if others who’ve been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD or something similar relate to this, and what helped you manage before getting treatment?

I’m not diagnosed with anything but I relate to all you’ve said and both my DCs are ND so I wouldn’t rule it out for myself.
I need a sense of urgency to get anything done. I’ve chosen a career where I have daily deadlines and targets. I use an app called Tiimo for daily to do lists.
I trick myself into having g a deadline, eg. Corrie’s on at 8. I’ll do the dishes before I watch it.
I try and give myself rewards for achieving things. I also sometimes add things to my list that I would have done anyway eg brush teeth so that I get the dopamine hit from ticking it off, and that gets me started.
Or I give myself a set time eg a power hour to get as much done as I can. You can get lots done in an hour if you crack on.

I don’t know if any of that helps.

Thanks 😊

Hello! I'm basically you.

So on the procrastination front, my theory is that there's a small amount of anticipatory cortisol when there's a deadline coming, or something we know we should do. It's just enough to cause brain fog and stop action.

Then as the deadline approaches that's when we get adrenaline. Adrenaline is the drug that causes crystal clear clarity on what we need to do. But its bad as the next time you need more adrenaline to get going. It's a bad habit to break. In the end the cost got too high for me - burning the candle at both ends gives me anxiety. So I think of it like me versus anxiety. I am curious what it will be like to be a person who gets things done with minimal stress ahead of deadline. Feel better professionally. Feel healthier. Etc. Beating myself up has no place. Take the shame away. After a deadline (not too soon after) review how the process has gone, where can you improve.

When things are structured or someone helps reduce my workload

I completely agree on this point. Unfortunately it gets worse the older I get as naturally my brain is slower, whereas in the past I could be more whizzy.

So for work, you just need to come with a system for structuring your work. I'm very visual so I like things like Microsoft Planner, Trello, and good old colour coded spreadsheet. All tasks need to be captured and there needs to be a reminder to do them.

I work best with flexibility, so I'll have a list, but I'm going to tackle it over the course of a day or week depending on what I can move forward / finish etc. If I'm micro managed I do not like it.

Other things - Focus Mate body doubling, using a children's timer, get a big clock on your desk, countdown timer, plan backwards from the deadline. Quite advanced approach - set some mini deadlines - very helpful.

Lie to myself - this task is going to go really well, I'm going to love this task etc.

Reading that back the number one thing is to stop beating ourselves up. There's been many times where I'll descend into a pit of hopelessness which in itself wastes time. That in itself is a challenge.

Do one small thing to lift myself out of the pit. Always leads to the next thing.