Do I have schizoaffective disorder?

[thebourne]

I am currently sectioned for the third time in 3 years. They say I am coming out of a psychotic episode (which I do not agree with) but I do agree that I had psychosis last year and the year before.

I have had poor mental health for a long time but live a good life and am well supported by my medical team. I am extremely fortunate and have private insurance so have seen the same psychiatrist at least monthly for over 7 years. I have also had the same therapist for 5.

I am diagnosed with autism, CPTSD, OCD, BPD (which I don't agree with anymore; in my 20s yes, now in my 40s no), and agoraphobia (mostly controlled). I have fully accepted all of these parts of myself over the years with help.

They are now suggesting a new diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. I am too afraid to google it but ChatGPT thinks it fits the recent chain of events. I had a period of about two weeks of mania (which I haven't had before) but that's gone now and I feel absolutely fine. I don't understand why I'm in hospital really except that I attacked someone because the voices told me to and they want me to rip mens faces off. I am being kept on 121 care with female staff only.

I feel really stressed and confused all the time because I mostly feel fine.

Hello and all best wishes.

It is destabilising to get a new diagnosis but it happens. DH was diagnosed as atypical bipolar for decades but then rediagnised with schizoaffective disorder. I personally think that MH diagnoses can be fluid because we’re human - as we get older things change. Was this the first time you’ve lashed out/attacked like this? It’s bound to change things.

If you are feeling stressed and confused, talk to your team. It may be that you are not stable yet.

Sounds kind of like schizophrenia with psychotic episodes. If you're being told by voices to harm people then it's probably right for you to be sectioned at the moment to help you get better. Are you on anti psychotic medication?

Hello. The first two times I thought I could control electricity and the internet and was terrified I was being watched by the devil and the police. This time a demon told me to protect myself by attacking someone. I shouldn't have done it but they do keep telling me to do it. I have never so much as shouted at anyone before. The last few weeks have been tough as I've been lashing out and been restrained over and over. I now stay in my room with the 121.

I'm on antipsychotics and haven't stopped taking them. Since I've been here they've doubled my dose and I feel more clear headed and we're introducing a new one in addition from Monday.

What do you think it was, if it wasn't a psychotic episode?

It sounds as if things are starting to improve. You’ve really had to cut down any interaction to get there though. It sounds as if the voices were really intense and extremely negative for you for a while, and that does sound like psychosis. I hope you hear some more positive voices or that they stay at a lower level so that you can control your reaction to them.

I attacked someone because the voices told me to and they want me to rip mens faces off.

I think this might be why you're in hospital now OP. The auditory hallucinations have led to the diagnosis I'd imagine. You feel well now because you are medicated I expect.

Please, please OP don't think that because you feel fine now, that you are well. It is such a common cycle where people feel well, stop taking their meds and quickly spiral back down and end up in hospital again - just to be released, feel well, stop taking their meds and end up in hospital again.

You are very unwell op otherwise you wouldn't be thinking you could control electricity and attacking people. I'm glad you're in the right place to get help and support.

Hi lovely OP. I have been held in hospital on sections before too, and it’s so hard to feel like you are not being listened to or believed. I had treatment resistant depression with psychotic features. I have not had a relapse now in ten years as the combo of meds I take is perfect for me.

I don’t think it matters what anyone calls what’s going on with you. What matters is that you feel as well and happy as possible, and that you can enjoy life.

I have also learnt to listen to a trusted friend/relative about how I am, as they can often see better than I can how I am doing. But they need to be someone you trust. Also you have a psychiatrist you can trust which is absolute gold.

Lots of love going out to you- rest up, use the time to have a break and recover and try and fill the hours as best as you can.

Good luck to you op. It’s very difficult but with mental health you never understand how bad you are when you’re actually going through it, psychosis especially. If anyone else was going through what you have Im sure you would (sympathetically) tell them the same thing. No need to google now, just take each day as it comes and focus on getting better.

Hi. I have Schizoaffective disorder which is basically psychosis & a mood disorder ie a mix of either schizophrenia and bipolar disorder or schizophrenia and depression.
Im lucky I haven’t been sectioned but I have suffered with psychosis this year even though I’ve been taking my anti psychotic, so under the supervision of my psychiatrist I’m tapering off the old one and going into quetiapine which should control my up & down moods better too apparently.
OP, just concentrate on your well being rather than diagnosis to begin with and taking your meds as the staff tell you to, hopefully the voices will lessen if they haven’t already. You definitely sound as though you have had psychosis. When I get breakthrough symptoms of psychosis I can feel otherwise fine.

Thank you everyone for the kind messages. I don't feel I have psychosis as I feel fine most of the time except I have demons who visit me and encourage me to do things to men.

@Peachypips78 I’m glad you're doing well now and you're right at the 'trusted person', for me this is my DH who is my rock and also my therapist, but they both started saying I was unwell last month and I took it badly and the demons told me they were trying to convince me I was unwell when I wasn't which is when things got really bad.

I don't remember much of the past 3/4 weeks, it's like a dark blur, I just have snippets of memory. I keep hearing a demon scream in my head which makes me scream and bang my head on the walls. Which then leads to me being restrained til it passes.

I feel throughly miserable, I just want to go home but they say it's too early until the higher/new meds kick in. I am feeling more clear headed though and able to have proper conversations with the 121s who are with me and my psychiatrist.

I'm seeing my psych today and want to ask what the new medication plan is. They've increased the one I was already on to the max. He's adding a new one in.

I'm finally sleeping better. 2 x promehtezine, 2 x lorazepam and a zolpidem and I finally sleep. Not all night and I'm up a few times walking around but overall I feel more rested.

Everything is better if you can sleep, sleep deprivation is torture, regardless of what diagnosis you have. Could you concentrate on that for now?

I’m glad you’re sleeping.

If I’m honest I think it’s a really bad idea for your Dh to be seen or to see himself as ‘your therapist’. Though of course we all have very deep relationships with our partners, and maybe that’s what you mean. But he deserves to be your husband and to be safe. Therapy is different. I hope your psychiatrist can have a think about therapy for you when you reach the point when you are well enough for it to be a good idea.

It must be disorientating to have so many diagnostic labels. I would try not to focus on these labels too much. The far more important thing is for you to be on the right medication and to get the rest, safety and supportive relationships that you need. I'm so glad that you seem to be gradually getting better, and I hope whatever new meds they introduce create further improvement. xxx

I made no sense, I meant my DH and ALSO my therapist are my trusted people.

ive had the same excellent therapist for 5 years who I see once or twice a week as needed!

So pleased. Sleep is so important and can be the difference between a good or bad day. You mentioned a new medication and I think this may be the key. Pharmaceuticals are discovering new medications all the time, so don't give up hope.

Wishing you nothing but the best.

Thanks so much. Yes definitely feeling clearer headed in the daytimes now I’m sleeping.