Too broken to be fixed

[Ihgdeyjnvd]

Does anyone else feel like they might be too broken to be fixed or helped?
20 years I've done now of poor mental health. Ive tried about 8 different medications, I couldn't tell you how many Counsellor's ive seen and how many different approaches have been tried with me in therapy. I feel desperate at the moment. I cant do another 20 years of this.

What are the issues and what (if you know) caused them?

If you are open to a radical rethink about causes, and possible cures, for mental health issues, take a look at Georgia Ede on YouTube. She is a psychiatrist who focuses on the interaction between diet and mental health. It is something that might not work for you, but surely worth a try.

And if anyone is thinking this is quack science, in trials and interventions for people with schizophrenia and bipolar it has been as effective or more effective than standard medications.

Sethi S, Wakeham D, Ketter T, Hooshmand F, Bjornstad J, Richards B, Westman E, Krauss RM, Saslow L. Ketogenic Diet Intervention on Metabolic and Psychiatric Health in Bipolar and Schizophrenia: A Pilot Trial. Psychiatry Res. 2024 May;335:115866. doi: 10.1016/j.psychres.2024.115866. Epub 2024 Mar 20. PMID: 38547601.

OP without a bit more detail about the nature of your MH issues and what you have tried, its hard to give a considered answer to your question.
In general terms, over a 30 year career in MH the vast majority of people can recover some fully, some in more of a ‘maintenance’ type of way, where the person can function, enjoy relationships, sustain a level of occupation etc, but their MH has to be actively managed just like any chronic health condition.
Can you say a bit more about your issues and what you have tried so far?

I feel like you OP. I’ve struggled my whole life and had loads of different medications, therapies and even inpatient stays.
I have to push myself to get anything done, I get no pleasure in anything and I’ve lost the will to keep fighting.

Thank you for your reply. My diagnosis is dysthmia (I hope I've spelt that right) but I'm not convinced that is correct or I'm not sure its the whole picture. It feels like theres more wrong with me than that.
I guess I struggle mostly with anxiety and depression. Currently the anxiety is absolutely crippling, it is effecting absolutely everything down to the smallest things like going to the corner shop.
Ive tried about 8 different medications, mostly SNRIs or SSRIs. Ive tried lots of different counselling methods, person centred, EMDR, Schema therapy

Hey OP. Just a few thoughts. How long have you tried each antidepressant for and have you gotten up to top dose and held there for at least three months? Some people do need max dose and to be on it a while to really see a benefit. Have you ever experienced a period of higher mood? Even just for 5 + days? WHO diagnosed the dysthymia?
In terms of talking therapy, have you ever seen a Clinical Psychologist? This is unlikely on the NHS unless you have been under secondary (specialist) services. If not, if you can afford it it may well be worth one privately and asking for a ‘formulation’. This is a piece of work completed with the CP in which they look very carefully at every aspect of your issues, trying to identify factors that are important in not only causing your difficulties but those that are perpetuating them, as well as looking at your strengths. This will help inform a ‘roadmap’ of what might help.
Whilst I am a big fan of talking therapy generally, in honesty low cost or ‘brief intervention’ type services are not always of a high enough quality to really get to the heart of the issues.
My final thought is whether you have ever considered that neurodiversity (Autism/ADHD) may resonate for you? Sometimes particularly for females with severe anxiety issues, the ‘root cause’ is around neurodiversity and for some people understanding this can be very helpful in learning new ways to accept, reduce, manage and access appropriate support rather than feeling that there is something fundamentally ‘wrong’ with them.
Good luck 🙂

Yeah it’s losing the will to keep fighting.

I had lots of depression/anxiety all my life. In my late 50’s l slipped into some of the most scariest and dark places I’ve ever been mental health wise. Much worse than anything l’e known before.

It’s so tiring and scary.

I'm telling myself that I have to keep fighting and that its the only option. I have to for my family, I have a small family but they're precious people.

That’s good if you can challenge your dark thoughts like that. I think my partner and animals might be better without me so I think I would be doing them a favour by giving up completely.

@Ihgdeyjnvd
"Ive tried about 8 different medications, mostly SNRIs or SSRIs. Ive tried lots of different counselling methods, person centred, EMDR, Schema therapy"

EMDR isn't a therapy and others are counselling, but if you're struggling in that kind of way, then you probably need a proper, deep, psychotherapy. It's rarely available in the NHS for adults, but a few years of therapy two or three times per week can have a massive impact and most good therapists have low-cost schemes, too.

https://www.bpc.org.uk/information-support/find-a-therapist-or-clinic/

So sorry OP, must be a terrible place to be in. Nothing to add but that this will pass as everything does.

Tara brach has talks about depression which I have found helpful at low ebbs.

Strength and solidarity to you